I don’t write many lay reports because I find them boring.
Good seduction competently follows Mystery’s attraction, comfort, escalation model and so lay reports tend to get repetitious. I’m much more interested in the principles of game that you can use repeatedly to get ongoing results than any one particular story.
Knowing the underlying principles means you can get repeat results. Recently I pulled together a threesome with my main girl and a new one I met, and taking RPD’s excellent advice I wanted to write this lay report to crystallize for myself what I did right while my thoughts are fresh. I intend to do more of these in the future.
I have to credit Red Quest and his book as well as Hector Beaman’s tweets on “Game 3.0” as well. They left me feeling that I could be pushing my envelope and doing more threesomes as well as better leveraging my relationships with my regulars.
From these guys and my own experience I’ve had the nagging feeling that many of the girls I date would be up for threesomes if I set things up right, and it’s been a goal for me to get better at this. The more I date the more I learn just how sexual women are, but at the same time they must be led and are often just waiting for the right man to create opportunities for them.
Over the course of 2019 I’ve increasingly become closer to one of my regular girls in particular. She started out as something casual several years ago but over time we’ve developed a close bond and we have each other’s trust. She knows I will always date multiple women and encourages it, and she has earned her position as my main girl.
This main girl of mine is very sexual and open minded like me, but she is not bi-sexual or in to girls.
So my first approach to setting up a threesome was verbalizing threesome fantasies to her once in a while as part of the dirty talk we have during sex. I’d let her enjoy the fantasy of having another girl as an additional “fuck toy” for us to enjoy together, bringing this up occasionally when fucking in an intensely sexual state.
This planted the seed made her open to the experience (learning 1 below). I’d also tell her how exciting it would be for her to watch my pleasure and enjoy another girl. This would get her excited, and I could see the potential was there.
With the seed planted I gave my main the homework of finding a friend for us to play with. She’s still in her early 20’s and girls in the 18-23 range tend to be the most sexually open, so the possibility was there. This could have worked because she did try (learning 2 below), but the few candidate girls in her social circle are currently cuffed so this avenue wasn’t going to come through any time soon.
I thought about bringing in one of my other regular girls. But as I felt them out verbally they all indicated that they either weren’t into girls and/or that they would feel jealous or uncomfortable. At the same time I didn’t want to create drama main girl by introducing her to a girl that I have an ongoing thing with. My mistake here was that I wasn’t planting the seed for threesomes with my other regulars from the start (learning 1 once again). It was clear that a threesome at this point would best be done with a new girl.
My main girl, bless her heart, also tried to complete the homework I gave her of finding us another girl by using an online dating app made especially for threesomes. But the matches on there were mostly couples, and beyond that the quality was very poor.
So with this as with all things related to women I realized it would be up to me entirely to make things happen (learning 3 below). My mental block was that I liked where I was with my main girl and I didn’t want to change our current dynamic or initiate drama since we’re in a very good place.
Then in passing she asked me, “When are you going to find a threesome for us?”. Very subtle. This was my sign to get up off my ass and make it happen.
At the time she brought this up, I had already set up a first date with a cute middle-eastern girl I met online for the next day. The new girl had just texted me to confirm our date, which is a positive sign that her interest in me was high.
Because my main girl was completely in at this point and the new girl seemed on from the texting I decided to go for it. I told my main girl that a cute new girl her age was texting me, and suggested that the three of us go out for drinks together and see what happens. She was in.
So I pitched the date via text to the new girl like this:
The lesson I learned from feeling out my regulars is that pitching things verbally was too direct. So from this text onward I kept things indirect verbally and instead relied upon my actions and leadership to make it happen (learning 4).
I have no doubt that the new girl understood everything from the moment I sent the above text, but at no time did I verbalize the intent. Instead I led both girls strongly through the date to make the experience happen (learning 5). As you shall see.
With the date confirmed I ran my standard first date model. My main girl and I met the new girl at a nice bar and I led us through a one hour conversation.
We sat around a small table and I made sure to sit in the middle so I can touch both girls gently as needed. The first few minutes were get to know you small talk as we ordered drinks and I’d include the occasional light tease to spike things up. I then transitioned in to relationship talk to get things interesting, asking new girl about her dating history, the types of men she likes, where she likes to travel and so on.
My main girl blurted out at one point, “you can’t ask her that!” when I asked why her last relationship ended and we were only 15 minutes in to the date, but new girl and I both smiled and she happily answered. Don’t ever take dating advice from women. It was important to break the ice and set an intimate tone without being too overtly sexual until comfort was built.
New girl was very introverted and she would give short answers to my questions. My main girl is outgoing but she was fairly quiet throughout, although I ensured all three of us were included in the conversation. I could tell main girl was enjoying seeing this side of me and she was also deferring to my leadership. So I had to do most of the conversational work, much more than I normally do on a first date.
We were all a bit nervous and excited as well knowing what was likely going down. Both girls are extremely attractive, and I believe this helped create more attraction in them to me via pre-selection. I kept the energy high and the vibe light and fun, and didn’t get into sexual topics since my feel of the situation was that the three of us being together on a date was enough of a sexual charge as it was. The attraction was there and my focus was on building comfort.
I sensed all of us were feeling a bit nervous despite sensing that everything was completely on. I instinctively knew the girls would feel what I feel and follow my lead so I kept a happy and playful vibe and mixed in plenty of comfort topics along with the subject of dating and occasional tease, of both girls. I did my best to bring out fun conversation from both girls. I normally don’t play such an extroverted role on dates, but since the girls were nervous I had to keep the right vibe and energy going (learning 6).
I made sure to take a break during the date to use the bathroom (something my main girl and I planned prior) so that the girls could talk and get to know each other 1:1. My main girl later said this helped them connect with each other better and made them more comfortable (learning 7).
At around the hour mark I could feel the energy ebbing and that it was time to bounce. The bar was a block away from my place (always have your logistics sorted – learning 8) and without saying where we were going I suggested we get another drink, which the girls readily agreed to.
Then the waiter comes and tells me they overcharged me for drinks and needed to re-bill me. My main girl later said she thought they wanted to check me out since I was an older man with two attractive young women in their early 20’s. I don’t think this was the case, but since we were losing momentum and the overcharge was something like $20 I just took the girls and left. Momentum is key (learning 9).
I walked them straight to my place keeping small talk going the whole time. When we arrived I told new girl, “I live right here, why don’t we just have a drink at my place?” and she agreed. Up we all went. My main later teased me for how smooth the suggestion was. To be honest, from the time of new girl’s response to my suggestion to bring my main girl above and also from the fact that new girl showed up to the date I never had a doubt that it was on, as long as I led us through properly.
I went to put on music and took my time so the girls could have a bit more 1:1 time. My main girl had another drink and new girl and I had water. The three of us sat next to each other on the couch with me in the middle. My legs were touching a girl on either side, my main girl to the left and new girl on the right.
Throughout the date I was making eye contact with my main girl to ensure she was good (learning 10). She would eye code me that she was. Sitting on the couch I checked in with her again non-verbally as we all made small talk. Green light. New girl would later comment how she could see the connection between my main girl and I. I’m sure this helped build comfort and pre-selection.
It being January it was a bit cold and I was trying not to shiver. It was time to escalate. I did what I normally do when going for the kiss, which was to just finish a sentence and let the conversation pause, while I gently and confidently held new girl’s arm and pulled her in to me for the kiss.
I kissed her gently but passionately for a few seconds and then I pulled back to give her a moment to take it all in. I could tell her heart was pounding.
Then I turned to my left to my main girl and did the same with her. She was all smiles. I went back and kissed new girl deeper and longer, and then alternated again giving the girls equal time (learning 11).
Although more of the conversation up until this point was focused on new girl since she was getting to know us, from this point on in the date I made sure to give equal sexual attention to both. If I was making out with one girl I was sure to be at least touching the other girl.
Then I suggested the two of them kiss each other and they refused…like two shy little school girls. I took this as a sign they just weren’t bi-sexual and so I knew that this was going to be a threesome where I would need to do most of the work.
Unfazed by the minor non-compliance I had new girl face and straddle me as I sat on the couch and I made out with her more. I used this position to reach around and finger her from behind while I sucked on her tits getting her very worked up. I needed to get her going to calm her nerves. I knew once aroused the girls would be willing to go further sexually.
I took off her dress and then made out with my main girl some more while rubbing new girl’s pussy. Being familiar with me, my main girl didn’t need as much foreplay and I could tell she was getting turned on by seeing me expertly seduce another attractive girl in front of her.
With the girls heated up I led them both by the hand to the bedroom and had them strip naked as I got naked as well. With my nerves and excitement I wasn’t yet fully hard. So I had them both girls kneel down in front of me and take care of that for me, with new girl sucking on the head while my main girl worked the shaft. It’s one of the best visuals a man can see.
I lifted new girl up and put her on the bed and my main girl joined us. I started going down on new girl while at the same time fingering my main girl. After going down on new girl I fucked her first. I wanted to keep up the momentum with her so she wouldn’t get cold feet.
Once we started fucking she really got in to it. I used a condom on new girl and would take it off with my main girl. I’d switch girls every 5-10 minutes or so and fuck them in different positions as well. There was a feeling of intensity between me and each girl while I was fucking her, the eye contact with both was extremely strong and intense.
My guiding principle for the session was to ensure no girl was ever left out. So as I would fuck one I’d make the other suck her tits or make out with the girl being fucked. I would finger a girl while I fucked the other one. Or have a girl play with my balls while I’m fucking the other. I tend to go long during sex and I’m in shape, so a threesome like this is a complete physical workout and yet there is more to be aware of with the extra girl.
After going through three condoms in this way the girls were very in to it and had no problem kissing each other. New girl also went down on my main girl and asked to scissor her, and main girl happily agreed.
I was finally ready to finish . I had my girl on her knees again sucking my balls while new girl titty fucked me, and then I pulled them together to take my full load on their tits. It was a very sexy scene.
I like to cuddle after sex so I pulled them both onto the bed with me and had my main girl on my left and the new girl on my right.
With the afterglow we went back to small talk some more. This is where I learned that new girl was born in Iraq (I’d have guessed she was Greek she was very fair), this had been her first threesome, and lots more. New girl commented how main girl and I connect a lot non-verbally which she liked.
The date had started at 7pm and it was about 10pm. 1 hour at the bar, 30 minutes transition, and 90 minutes of sex with cuddling. None of us had eaten. So I suggested a little place down the street for dinner and off we went. After dinner new girl ubered home and my main girl came back with me to spend the night.
I won’t go in to details but my main girl confirmed to me once we were alone that we were closer than ever.
She already knew that I’m good with women and I will always date multiple girls, but this time she saw me in action with a girl as least as attractive as she is. I had led and made an amazing experience happen for us. In retrospect I think my fears of drama were overblown. Making this threesome happen allowed me to directly demonstrate many of the qualities in a man that Jimmy Jambone points out are key for attraction:
Positive, passionate, ambitious
Indifference (outcome independent)
Finally I have to say there was an element of luck. A lot of girls would have ghosted after my suggestion text while instead new girl came out. I will be trying this process more often so I’ll find out just how much came down to finding the right girl.
This exercise of writing everything down in detail has also helped me see there was a lot of good game on my part at at the very least I didn’t fuck things up with two “yes” girls.
I look forward to the future experiences to come.
Magnum’s Threesome Game Takeaways:
Set the frame from the first time you meet a girl that you’re a sexual, non-judgmental guy. Plant the seed with women you date as part of your sexual dirty talk that a threesome would be fun for you and her to enjoy together.
Give girls you date the homework to find other girls for threesomes.
Although it’s good to give your women homework to find other girls, don’t rely on this alone. As the man it’s up to you to make things happen.
When pitching the actual threesome date to a girl you don’t know well, be indirect. Instead just suggest another friend joins for a drink or that you hang out at your place. Give girls plausible deniability.
Threesomes take even stronger leading than a normal 1:1 date. You as the man have to lead the girls through the entire process.
You set the vibe and energy throughout and be prepared to do most of the conversational work.
Give the girls some time 1:1 during the first date together if they don’t know each other well in order to help them connect girl to girl.
Always have your logistics planned in advance. If you don’t meet straight at your place meet somewhere very nearby to keep the bounce home short. Have condoms ready at your place. Logistics are fundamental.
Keep the momentum moving. Use your instincts and experience of when attraction and comfort have been achieved, and don’t miss your window for isolating and escalating to sex. You have two girls to bring through the seduction process so be mindful of both and where you are in the process all together.
If you’re having a threesome with a girl you’re seeing regularly, be sure to agree ground rules with her up front. Give her comfort that the threesome won’t change your dynamic, and also check in with her non-verbally throughout the date.
With a threesome you’re dating two girls, give them both attention. Eye contact, conversation, foreplay, sex. Don’t give all your attention to one at the expense of the other. This is a threesome…not you fucking a girl while the other one watches.
Magnum is living large. He’s tall, good-looking, traveling the world, having sex with lots of young women. He also has an excellent blog, with his famous first date model and a simple nutrition guide that I liked a lot. Here’s my interview with Magnum. He’s got a lot of knowledge to share, so pay attention.
Fifteen Questions with Magnum
1. Basic biographical info Name: Magnum Age: 45 Height: 6’3″ Lifetime bangs: low triple digits
2. How would you rate yourself from 1-10? This is a tough question to answer without sounding like I’m bragging, but it leads me to a key point. The best outside opinion I got on this was when I was at Liv in Miami which is a big club in South Beach. I was there with Christian McQueen a few years back and he called me a male 9. He said it in passing on another topic and it was a genuine comment he made as we were checking out the girls there and noticing their IOI’s, and he said that the only way I could be a 10 would be to be famous. I think that’s as good a measure as any.
What’s more important to me is that I truly believe there is no woman that is “out of my league”. I know my value and if I present it effectively, which is what game is all about, I know I have a chance with any girl. She may not be interested in meeting new men, and I may not be her “type of guy”, but I know as an overall package I’m attractive to even the most attractive women. I’ve built enough reference experience to prove it myself.
3. How did you discover Game? Who were your biggest influences? I discovered game by finding Roissy in DC’s blog back in 2008. This was before it became Heartiste. Back then Roissy was just taking off, and over the next few years he put to words a lot of the concepts that influenced later writers. I know both Blackdragon and Krauser have credited Roissy as a big influence, and those two guys along with Tom Torero would be my next biggest influences. Blackdragon for online game and relationship management, and Krauser and Torero for daygame and texting game (Mr V‘s recently published text game summary is also outstanding). I also learned a lot from Christian McQueen and Goldmund when it comes to approaching, non-verbal game, drawing women in to you, and getting women addicted to how you fuck them.
4. Everything you know about women, can you distill it down to 5 key points? There’s an art to women that goes well beyond just a few points. But in terms of essential frameworks that span across your every interaction with women, these are the three key themes that come to mind:
A) You are her daddy. She is not your peer, she is your girl. This means you lead. You alone are responsible for every interaction and making things go well, from choosing what you do when out, to how the sex will go down, to punishing bad behavior. This is what she wants. She will test your conviction if she senses weakness, but once you’ve proven your strength and leadership she will naturally become feminine and crave your leadership. It’s the dynamic that is meant to be between women and men.
B) Push/pull should be infused in your every interaction with women. Your relationships with women, from opening them on the street, to texting, to dates, to sex, to ongoing relationship management at whatever level you choose – it’s a dance. You are leading her emotions and enabling experiences for the both of you, experiences she can feel. She feels this through the ups and downs. You compliment her, and then you follow it with a tease. You tease her on the date and bring up sexual topics, and then you switch to normal comfort topics in the very next sentence like it’s no big deal. You fuck her hard telling her what a dirty little slut she is while you choke her, and then you slow it down and tell her how close you feel to her and how you can tell by how wet she is that she’s been missing you while you let her feel your affection. You take her on a fun adventure date, and then you don’t text her for a few days. The worst sin with women is to be boring…push/pull done well ensures you never will be.
C) As a man you need to have a larger mission in life than your woman. This is what gives you the true outcome independence that will keep you unaffected by the ups and downs of dating. You need to have spent time on your own in learning who you are, and what you want to achieve in life. These achievements have to be meaningful, long term things that excite you, and cannot be just about women. When you have this larger purpose in life, and you are making progress towards that, you will be happy. This ties to being daddy. Women can feel if you are a man and if you have this purpose, or if you’re lost. It makes you outcome independent. Did a girl flake on your date that night? No problem, that means you get to work on your real passion whatever that is. Is a girl you’re seeing giving you drama? No problem, just next her. You’ve got more important things to do than spend time with any one woman who doesn’t meet your standards of behavior. Outcome independence makes you much more attractive to women as well as a bi-product. They want to be apart of a man’s world, they do not want to be a man’s world. I view women like I view good nutrition. It’s necessary but sufficient. If you fuck up your nutrition or your dating life it will have a big negative impact on your life. But having good nutrition or a good dating life alone is not enough to be happy overall as a man, we are much bigger than that.
5. Since your divorce, you’ve been traveling a lot and having a lot of success with women. Do you have a favorite type of girl (ethnicity, body type, hair color)? Has that changed at all from the woman you married? I’ve been consistent my adult life in that I prefer petite, feminine, slender women with dark hair. I also prefer women who are intelligent, highly sexual, and typically have some sort of outsider status to them, which can mean a lot of different things. When I first started dating again after my divorce I was dating women from their late 20’s into their late 30’s. But as I gained experience and improved my game and dating I learned that I prefer younger women and I learned how to meet them. The average age of the girls I’ve slept with since 2016 is 24, while the average age between my divorce in 2013 and the end of 2015 was 31. I see this as a good improvement.
6. I’m curious about what you mean by women with “outsider status”. Can you give an example? Why are you attracted to this type of woman, is it because they’re more interesting or unpredictable? When I say “outsider status” I’m borrowing a Krauser term, one of the many good ones he’s defined in game. By outsider status I mean that the girl at least views herself as in some way outside of the mainstream for girls her age. That can mean a lot of different things, such as, she’s an introvert, or into a certain party or music sub culture, or she’s into older guys and BDSM, or whatever. The important thing is this is part of her self image, and so consistent with that self image she’s at least open to dating a man like me who’s much older than her and outside of her normal social circle. I find girls who have this outsider status tend to be more intelligent and more interesting as well. I enjoy the process of learning how they think and also about the various subculture interests they have.
7. Reading your blog, you seem to be successful in everything you do: finances, fitness, women, travel, basically everything. What’s next? My number one goal in life right now is to continue to fix a collection of old injuries that have left me with chronic pain. More than anything else I can do, that will improve my life from where I am now. I’m making progress and I’m optimistic I can finally put it to rest in 2020, but it’s a long term goal not entirely in my control. Frankly nothing else matters if you don’t have your health.
My next biggest goal is to get my side consulting business to the profit goals for it that I have for this year. I have a full time job that I love, but I’ve enjoyed starting up something on the side completely from scratch that I own with no partners.
Beyond that, my main girl and I are looking to have a kid in line with my blog post on the subject. This means having the kid and raising him together in a way that also protects my independence.
The best answer a girl ever gave me was, “I fall in love when I think I may have a future with the man” and I think that sums up a lot about women. Women are the practical sex, while men are the true romantics. It’s evolutionary. In the hunter gatherer state in which we evolved women can’t take care of themselves, nature’s too brutal. They need a strong man to do that, and women are evolved to find that man.
So in a nutshell I believe we love that which is in our best interest to pass along our genes. For women that’s a strong, “alpha” man who also has the potential to take care of her long term. For men it’s the girl with better reproductive value than the others in his life, the one guys will describe as “she’s really hot and not like the rest!”
As I shared in my recent post on fun memories, this blog is officially a year old.
Hard to believe I managed 36 posts in the space of a year. Clearly I had more to say than I thought.
With no further ado here are the top posts for 2019:
Magnum’s first date model. I wrote this post at Nash’s request and it remains a hot topic. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback that this model has helped a lot of men this year. Glad I could help.
The Deepest Red Pill was a summary of my musings on the dark pill, in particular understanding that all relationships have an end date. Clearly I was a bit somber this winter. The positive flip side of this red pill view is that a man can absolutely have relationships on his terms. To me this makes it all worth while.
My reading list of the 15 Best Books for Game came in at number three. To paraphrase Newton, “if I’ve seen further it’s because I’ve stood on the shoulders of giants.”
And rounding out the top five is my post on How to Minimize Flaking. Sigh. If only there were a way to minimize flakes to zero.
I view game as a “sales funnel.” From your value as the “product” to the market you choose (type of girl and the city) to your approach (lead generation), texting (lead nurturing), first date, and close.
It seems the biggest interest out there is on the front end of the “funnel” in the dating process. I suspect this is because every man in the game encounters problems there, well before encountering challenges with retention or God forbid thinking about having kids in a red pill way.
I’ll keep that in mind for future posts.
And as always would welcome any topic requests you may have.
Hard to believe but this New Year’s marks the one year anniversary of this blog. I had a few hours of downtown during the heat of each day while I was adventuring in Bangkok and at Red Quest’s suggestion I took the opportunity to put a few thoughts on there.
I never expected it to be more than a place to share thoughts with just a small circle of guys I know, but without trying to this blog has grown to about 1,000 unique visitors per month. I’m grateful for your interest.
One of the benefits to having this blog is that it helps me capture my thoughts and memories before they fade away off into the ether. It’s a funny thing how the human brain perceives time.
If you do the same thing each day, go to the same place, and spend time with the same people, the years will fly by and you’ll look back at your life a decade later and wonder where the time went.
But instead if you are constantly doing new things, spending time in new places, making new experience, and building relationships with new people, time will actually appear to slow down…in a good way.
This has absolutely been my experience over the past six years since my divorce. I’ve done more things, lived in more places, had more experiences, made more memories, and fucked way more girls than I did in the previous 15 years.
And that’s made the experience of my life seem longer, with more positive experiences in just a few years than many have in a lifetime.
This brings me to a key annual exercise I took from Good Looking Loser. Each year on new year’s I take a bit of time to list out all of the positive, fun memories I’ve had from the prior year.
I make myself do this off the top of my head, no looking at pictures or calendars or notes. Once I’ve drained my brain of everything I can think of I count up the number of memories as a indicator to myself to see if I’m living right.
My own personal goal is to have at least 52 a year…an average of at least one per week. I’m happy to say I’ve easily beat this each year I’ve tried this exercise.
It’s important as a man to not just achieve your goals but also take the time to live your life and make memories. The time goes by much too quickly to not be doing this.
Give it a try and see for yourself.
I’ve listed a few of my fun experiences in 2019 in past posts including:
My first same day lay of the year during a short trip to Kuala Lumpur.
Bringing a girl I dated two years ago when she was 18 back into my rotation this fall. It’s been better the second time around as she’s matured into a nice sweet spot (it helps that she looks like one of my favorite porn stars).
With the 2020 new year upon us I’m sure a lot of folks out there will be making resolutions. And with the over-eating and indulgence of Christmas many will now want to focus on their fitness.
Make no mistake, looking lean and fit will help your game. Getting your body fat to at least the 15-17% range will improve your jawline and likely improve your testosterone levels as well.
This helps you whether you’re doing direct approach or for your pictures in online game. All things being equal you will do better when you look your best for your age and genetics. This goes double if you’re like me and prefer to date women half your age.
One thing I’m often asked is how do I keep lean and fit despite being in my mid 40’s. Staying lean and fit gets harder as you get older, and I’m often told I look 5-10 years younger than my age. Nash likes to say I look like a “retied super hero” which I take as big a compliment that I look my best given my age.
In the end 80% of the battle is nutrition as opposed to working out. It took me a long time to learn this. I have several long term sports injuries from a life time of contact and distance sports that have limited my exercise to just daily walks and upper body weight lifting twice a week.
But the good news is these injuries forced me to do the reading and consult with nutritional experts to learn what works. It comes down to nutrition.
And I’m going to break down what I’ve learned for you lucky bastards into a few key rules anyone with discipline can follow.
Magnum’s Nutrition Rules for Getting and Staying Lean:
Practice intermittent fasting. The easiest method I’ve found is the 16:8 method, which means you fast for 16 hours each day and eat all of your meals within an 8 hour period. For most this means skipping breakfast. Coffee or tea are OK in the morning as long as you take them black.
Don’t snack. If you’re practicing the 16:8 you should be eating two solid meals – lunch and dinner and that’s about it.
You don’t have to do a full keto diet, but you should avoid any and all carbs that aren’t fruits or vegetables. This means you will no longer consume:
If you do want to do keto, you’ll need to ensure your net carbs (net carbs = total grams of carbs consumed minus grams of fiber) are less than 30 a day. This can be a bit extreme and I’d recommend working with a knowledgeable nutritionist if you plan to do this to keep an eye on your bloodwork. When I developed these rules I worked with Paul Burgess at Functional Nutrition, and he’s worth the money if you can afford a coach.
Your diet is going to focus on eating meat and vegetables. You’ll want to eat enough meat with your two main meals of the day so that you’re consuming about 0.8g to 1 g of protein for every pound you have of lean body weight. I’m 6’3″ and 190 pounds, so I target 155 to 190 grams of protein a day. If you’re eating this much protein trust me you will not feel hungry on this diet.
I’d recommend avoiding protein powders, most are made from whey protein which is dairy – and dairy is inflammatory.
Besides the protein component, the rest of your meals will be a big assortment of vegetables. It’s almost impossible to eat too many vegetables. Do your best to make sure you mix up the kind of vegetables you eat. One method is to get a variety of colors with every meal. This ensures you’re getting a wide variety of healthy nutrients as well.
No matter how well you eat it’s difficult to get enough of certain key nutrients. They just aren’t in our foods in high enough levels. I follow a extensive daily supplement routine, but here is the short list of key supplements that most westerners are not getting enough of:
Fish oil. You want to ensure your omega 3 fat intake exceeds that of your omega 6 fat intake. Few can achieve this without supplementation. Liquid fish oil is absorbed much better than capsules, the link takes you to the brand I personally use.
Zinc. This is essential to testosterone production and very tough to get enough through diet.
Magnesium. Another essential mineral for testosterone production that you can’t get enough of through diet. This has the added benefit of helping to relax sore muscles and help with sleep as well.
Vitamin D. One of the cheapest supplements there is and again almost impossible to get enough through diet alone. Like fish oil, liquid vitamin D is absorbed better by your body so that’s what I recommend.
I can hear it already . Most will complain that this is too strict, especially the not drinking any alcohol part.
My response is just try it for a month without deviation. You will see the results and then will want to keep going if you care about being lean.
Good nutrition is a lifestyle not a one time thing. To get the results of being lean you need to stick with it every day.
I provided this set of rules to a co-worker of mine in his 40’s, and he lost 40 pounds in 9 months. The results will speak for themselves. You will be leaner, have more energy, and improve your testosterone levels as well.
Here’s a screenshot of my last testosterone lab results to show you what I mean. I’m in my mid 40’s, follow the above rules, but do not take any hormone therapies or other medications:
Note my levels were about half of this 6 years ago when I exercised more but didn’t follow the above diet and supplementation routine.
If you’re looking for a good book to help you with this, I recommend “Wired to Eat” by Robb Wolf who popularized the paleo diet. It has all the science to support the above, plus a ton of recipes for meals.
Finally I’ll have to caveat this post by saying I’m not a healthcare practitioner or nutritionist. I’m simply sharing what has worked very well for me. Your results may vary. But I hope this helps those of you with the interest and discipline to stick with it.
Flakes. I can’t think of another topic that gets men more upset when it comes to dating.
You approach. You do the work. You get her number. You text her. You’re charming. She’s getting quality attention and validation from you, even as you keep your game tight. You schedule a date. You block out the time on you calendar which is time you could have used to date another girl instead.
She texts you right before that she can’t make it based on some lame excuse.
Or worse yet you show up to the date venue and she never does.
Is there anything more frustrating?
Last week for example I had 3 flakes out of 6 dates scheduled. And 2 of the 3 girls who didn’t flake were regulars.
Keep in mind I’m in my mid 40’s and these girls are in the 18-23 year old range, and in an American city where there are quite a bit more men than women. I’ve found flake rates go way down with women closer to you in age as well as in cities with a better ratio.
Yes women are random and some of the flaking is due to random shit that comes up. But there’s also a method to the randomness. Girls are filtering for their best option, both between men as well as social options.
Girl subconsciously filter men based on their internal character – is he good enough to get past my roadblocks? And girls “womb guard”. They know if you spend enough time with them alone there’s a chance you’ll put your DNA in her so subconsciously they need to feel you are worthy.
Women also are constantly considering you against the other men she has access to and frankly you need her to feel you’re her best option.
So what’s a man to do?
There will always be a degree of flaking in your dating life. It’s unavoidable. But in my experience the best approach is twofold:
Be the best alternative you can be compared to all her other options
Have an alternative as good as a date with her in the event she flakes
Let me break it down.
1. Being her best alternative is something you can influence, but can’t control. You do this through standard game techniques:
Ping text a few hours after you get her number (her response here is one of the biggest indicators you’ll get of her interest).
Try to minimize time between when you get her number and when you schedule the date. For every day between your odds of flaking go up.
Once your date is scheduled, continue to text her every 1-2 days to keep her interested. Mix it up and keep it interesting. Share “windows to your world” (mini DHV’s). Mildly tease her and occasionally spike things up. Avoid becoming her text buddy but give her enough to remember the real person you are. This means combining attraction and comfort material.
If you meet her online, or if it will be a few days before you can actually meet, suggest a short phone or video chat. Keep it short (less than 10 minutes), tease her but also throw in comfort. This is essentially a mini first date. Be sure to be the one to end the call first (you’re a man in demand).
Send a reminder text the day before or the day of the date. Don’t ask “are we still on?” That is weak. Instead show confidence that she will be there with something like, “Hey miss trouble. Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow at Bar X at 9. Be sure to dress cute, so we match ;)” (hat tip Krauser).
Schedule dates for times when girls have less alternative activities. My favorite nights for first dates are Tuesday and Wednesday, followed by Monday. Girls like to lay low Sunday night (high flake rate) and Thursday through Saturday night are often out with friends to bars or dating other guys they know better. I tend to schedule dates for girls I haven’t yet fucked for Monday – Wednesday and for regulars Thursday through Saturday.
Keep in mind I mostly date women 18-23. Older women may only be free Thursday – Saturday night due to responsibilities. So know your target demographic and the times when they are most free.
There are times of the year when women flake more or are less interested in meeting new men. Summer (especially August) is a horrible time to get girls out because of constant parties and travel. Likewise the holidays are the worst time of year for meeting and gaming new girls.
Conversely, January through March and also September through October are my absolute favorite times to game. Girls are back in school from holidays and travel, and are often looking to meet new guys as they shed their last relationship. There’s an annual ebb and flow.
Some girls have random schedules, so flexibility helps. If you can, be willing to do afternoon coffee dates or drinks at random times.
Double book. If you’re on a trip and only have a few nights in town, or if your city is especially flaky for some reason, double book. Worst case you end up having to be the one that flakes (happened to me on a NYC trip this year).
You can stagger dates. Fore example you can have a Friday date #1 afternoon coffee date, Friday date #2 drinks at 6pm, and a Friday date #3 drinks at 8:30pm. If one or even two flake it’s no big deal.
I find younger women (18-23) are more flakey than older women. In part because they’re young but also in part because the prospect of meeting an established older man makes them nervous, even if they’re highly attracted. It’s out of their comfort zone. To balance this out, consider doing a bit more texting and comfort with girls much younger than you. I don’t recommend sexual escalation with younger girls until you’ve already done attraction and comfort with them in person on a date and are ready to isolate for the close.
Don’t get too sexual before the first date, especially if you meet her online. It’s often a thirst trap. I find it’s far better to mix teasing and fun banter with comfort and DHV’s. Save the sexting for girls you’re already fucking.
Don’t get too invested in any one girl. Yes you will like some more than others. But dating is a numbers game and you can control the process but not the outcome with any one girl (Dating is a pipeline just like the sales pipeline in business – since I started tracking in 2016 I’ve had dates with 35% of the girls I got a number from and I’ve had sex with 33% of the girls I’ve had a date with.)
I’d welcome your additional thoughts and tactics in the comments.
Doing those things will help reduce the odds of flakes, but even at best you can only influence things. Flakes will happen.
But there’s a much larger element that you can directly control that will determine how frustrated you actually are when the inevitable flakes happen. Which brings me to:
2. Have an alternative as good as a date with her in the event she flakes
Have important goals in your life beyond girls. If the only thing you’ve got going on in your life besides a boring day job is banging girls on the side, of course you’re going to get upset when the girls fall through.
Instead, set meaningful goals and have outside interests beyond paying the bills and dating. This could be building up a side business, writing a book, DJ-ing at local clubs, or spending time with family and friends. Whatever your goals are, they have to be meaningful to you and inspire passion.
The point is to have a larger life than just girls. You want to be at a place in your life where if a girl flakes on a given night you can say to yourself, “cool, now I can keep working on project xyz instead”.
Personally I view women like good nutrition. If you’re bad with women you will not be happy, just like if you don’t eat well you will look like shit. But being good with women and having them in your life, although extremely rewarding, is not enough on its own to make you happy. Just like having good nutrition and a good physique is not enough by itself. You need a well rounded life to be happy.
Finally, it helps to have regular girls. The three flakes I experienced last week would have been much more painful if I didn’t have dates lined up with my two regulars where I knew I’d be getting plenty of sex. Yes it’s easier said than done, but here’s my post on how to best keep women in your life on an ongoing basis.