I was married for 13 years. I believe the reason we lasted so long was that I truly believed we loved each other. It was only when I saw after all those years that she did not love me for who I am, but rather for what I could do for her, that I choose to leave her.
I was very blue pill and I’ve come a long way.
This article today in the Atlantic reminded me of this:
Women, more than men, tend to feel stultified by long-term exclusivity
Wednesday Martin, The Atlantic
This quote is absolutely spot on. Read a book like “Sperm Wars” or even Tom Torero’s “Below the Belt“. Or better yet get years of real world experience as I have between my former ex’s and the many women I’ve dated since. The red pill reality becomes clear.
Blackdragon did a very good interview with a woman who was unusually aware and candid of her nature. It’s the most red pill thing I’ve ever read. Every man should read this to understand female nature.
Women have a dual mating strategy. They either want you for your DNA (lover) or for your resources (provider). Women are not capable of loving you for who you are as an individual man.
Women love what you can do for them, their love is reserved for their children. And women are never loyal to you. They are loyal to your power.
It’s driven by biology. Nature sets us up with infatuation to pair bond for a couple of years tops to make a baby, and then there is some sort of internal mechanism that causes women to eventually tire of a man as a lover and look elsewhere for a new source of DNA, in order to diversify her offspring and maximize her chances of passing on her genes.
It can be painful for men to accept this because even no matter how tight your game is, no matter how much a girl is in to you, at some point she will eventually move on.
There is no end game, there is no one girl that will be your “ride or die” girl for life. I find this transient nature to be the darkest red of the red pill.
I believe this is why most men, even experienced players, close their eyes to reality and entertain romantic fantasies such as “this girl is different from all the rest,” and why men have unfounded purity fantasies of some girls being “good girls” and some girls being “bad girls”.
It’s completely false. All women are out to get good DNA at points in their life, while keeping up the good girl front so they can eventually win over a provider. It’s nature’s way, I don’t blame women one bit.
But there is no ideal situation for men. We are not the choosers when it comes to sex. Instead we can either:
1. Go for pair bonding and a relationship knowing that there is a shelf life of just a few years of passion. She may stay with you and she may not even cheat, but her passion for you will die.
2. Or have ongoing one night stands and harems with girls that come and go from your life over time.
For me, the short to medium term harem option is the best trade off. I create a portfolio of sex and affection. If and when any one girls spins out of my orbit, I have others to keep up the slack. And all the while I work to bring new girls into the mix.
The trade off is that transient nature of it can be tough, especially when girls you like spin off. But then again everything in life is transient.
This is why men need to be internally referenced – have a larger mission in life besides relationships – if we’re to avoid falling back into the blue pill trap like the men in the Atlantic article.
Stay strong, keep the frame, and have relationships on your terms.
As always – welcome your thoughts and comments.
Magnum 
Sperm Wars is the darkest of Reds – almost a Crimson Pill. I don’t think I’ve read anything more impacting on my state of being than that book.
That being said, is there any aspect of the Red Pill we have not fully defined or understood?
I sense that we do not talk enough about the mistakes women make in the mating dance (reference to Krauser) and also the monolithic mating structure of Alpha Fucks/Beta Bux which lacks nuance. Rather than define Beta Females, we describe them as lower SMV. Sigma and Gamma were introduced into the male hierarchical lexicon – perhaps we need to reassess female hierarchies as well.
I like art and music which has basically become a signaling exercise of the two aspects of hypergamy – the Alpha “one that got away” and the Beta “one love forever”. Curiously, women sing a lot about the first and men about the second.
My regular Miss Bumblebee had her “together forever” reality broken last October when I decided to permanently swallow the Red Pill. It’s a devastating thing for both of us where idealized love was smashed on the rocks of Red Pill reality. We will probably never recover from it. She is the one I lament about the most because the Red Pill reality also hurts for women.
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The most interesting piece of all of this is that women, while instinctively having and employing their dual mating strategy, don’t realize that this is what they’re doing.
But isn’t it the same for men? For most men, I’d argue no. Most of us know instinctively we’d love to fuck as many hot young girls as feasibly possible, and for those of us who get married, we realize and accept the fact that we’re subverting our ideal mating strategy, but rationalize that as being OK because it’s for a noble cause of getting married, commitment, children, etc.
This may sound bad, but in this way, I’ve almost come to view women as NPCs–they don’t really know why they do what they do (or they’re not aware of it in the same way we are), they’re just guided in whatever way they choose by parents, teachers, the collective hive mind of other women as well as society. I’m not saying women can’t be logical: if a woman wants to apply logic, reason, and scientific thinking to a problem, she can, and many can do so at a super high level. But the “why” isn’t there in the same way it is for guys–at least guys who aren’t dolts. I guess the core of that is that if you’re used to making decisions on an emotional basis, which is what women do, then you can’t really rationalize them–like, the rational basis for choice A vs. choice B was not considered. So in retrospect she can hamster up a reason why she chose to do X, Y, or Z, but that probably isn’t really why she made that choice–it wasn’t the catalyst if that makes sense.
I guess what I’m getting at is that most women don’t seem to accept their true nature as human beings or as women. Maybe most men don’t either, but I think much more so than women dudes kind of get what’s going on and accept it, whereas women don’t seem to be concerned about our why/purpose whatsoever. At least not most women.
Overall, I agree with your post. Initially I was really mad when I first took the pill, and sometimes I still get frustrated. But when I began to see how random women are, how bizarre and irrational their behavior is, and how little responsibility or agency they’re willing to take for their decisions/choices… I actually just feel sort of sad, because like you said, you realize that a woman can’t love you for who you are as a person–“she loves you for your power” is spot on.
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Yes we have to accept reality as it is. It’s our place as men to also shape and guide reality as much as we can. This is the essence of power, and it is a big part of what women are attracted to (strength, money, charisma, status are all components of this power).
So part of being attractive to your women is to know them better than they know themselves, and use this to lead your experience together.
Doing this well is what drives strong retention, despite of course the way we know women don’t love truly (which is the way most men would want). It’s the best way I’ve found so far, whether you want a ton of fuck buddies or something more serious
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One of the greatest Red Pill posts I’ve ever read. After I read this I bought “Sperm Wars” on Amazon and have only read a couple of chapters and it’s easily one of the best books I’ve ever read.
My story is not too far off from yours. And the older I get (I’m 29), the more I realize the red pill truths to be reality.
Love your work, also love your piece on nutrition. Keep up the good work.
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Thanks man. Appreciate the good feedback
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