I believe there are two main romantic templates between men and women. They come from childhood and are hard wired into the human brain. And I believe this sheds some light on what guys ado wrong these days and also hat we as men can do right.
For lack of better words to describe the two romantic templates (dynamics) a man can experience with a woman are:
- mommy / son
- daughter / daddy
Women experience the same two but I’ll explain it from the man’s perspective since that’s what I know. We grow up as boys experience unconditional love from our mother (hopefully – if she didn’t provide this then the boy is fucked).
A healthy mother loves you no matter what, and takes care of you. As it should be.
The problem is that when boys grow up and start dating and start looking for this mommy / son dynamic in the women they date.
Your girlfriend or wife is not your mother. She can never love you unconditionally, only instead for what you ring to her life. Most guys don’t understand this, and it is trying to make this dynamic work is the dynamic of the beta male.
The other romantic dynamic is daughter / daddy. This is not meant as an Electra complex …but in that you are the man and you lead. You are older and more experienced and you take care of things and also set boundaries.
A father does not rely on his daughter to take care of him or provide support, he does this for her. Loving you for playing this role in her life is the only way a woman can love a man that’s not her actual father.
And this love is entirely conditional. Unconditional love is saved for her children.
This dynamic is what women crave. Whenever I have given this gift to women they are happy. The burden of man is that he had to lead and support, and he can’t burden his women with his problems.
In addition it helps to have an air of gravitas and mystery to her, just like she gets from her actual father. This is a deeply ingrained template in our DNA, you can’t deviate from it.
Men can only be loved unconditionally from their actual mother. It’s a burden we bear but I can tell you from hard experience that the joy and feminine energy you will unleash in your women from doing this right offsets that downside.
When she trusts you are strong enough to lead this dynamic she will feel safe and blossom with you.
I highly recommend Yoni Balls to teach your women to be more orgasmic. Give them as a gift to any woman you’re dating. All she has to do is wear the one that fits her like a tampon as she goes about her day. Best if she works her way down to smaller ones as she goes. It works by automatically strengthening her pelvic floor muscles. If she sticks with this over a period of a few weeks to months on a daily basis she has a good chance of becoming multi-orgasmic.
One of the girls I’m seeing who I call “Little Me” tried them on the recommendation of one of her fellow yoga instructors. She went from having 1-2 orgasms every time we had sex to having 5-10 every time. That means cumming every few minutes while we fuck. She can now have multiple in a row as well. It’s amazing.
I gave these as gifts to two other girls I’ve been seeing regularly. I enjoy being the one to lead them through experiencing the world in new ways and opening up their sexuality to what is possible for them. This is the right leading frame for male / female polarity in a relationship.
I walked artsy girl from my apartment back to her car. She’s very low key, but this time she had an extra little spring in her step. She’s told me how I bring out her feminine side. This from a girl who’s seduced other girls into being her girlfriend in the past. And truly she’s one of the most feminine girls I’ve ever dated which says a lot. A strong masculine man like me attracts the polar opposite, and it’s that polarity which makes good chemistry between men and women.
But last night was a little extra. There was an extra girlishness in her voice, something she usually keeps hidden. We had our normal fun, dry humor and banter over dinner, and after I gave her two hours of the dominant, rough sex she’s been enjoying with me every week for months. I had her repeat certain sexy things to me while I was fucking her, and my sense is that plus a strong mix of dominance blended with emotional connection, put her over the top. Her arms and legs were quivering quite a lot afterwards, and I teased her because it was cute. I’m not sure whether or not artsy girl has felt this before.
Last night there was just a little extra spark, and it was good. Maybe there’s the added dimension of me being older and experienced and knowing how to lead the dance between us. But I can tell you this feels like how it’s meant to be.