My 2018 Year in Game Review

I’m relaxing here in my Bangkok apartment after getting three new notches in the last week.  I’ve got more leads for this trip but I’m not pursuing them hard.  I’ve opted to have miss Singapore, one of my regulars, come to town for my last few days to ring in the new year with me.

In many ways this is a good summary of my 2018 with women.  At 44 years old I’m having as much sex as I’ve ever had in my life, but compared to 2016 and 2017 it’s been more focused on a handful of regulars that I like, and less on new girls. 

For the most part I think I’ve got the balance right.  I continue to wonder if I can get better quality, as I usually do when I travel out of San Francisco.  And I’ve also begun to wonder, “what comes next?”  Do I continue this lifestyle indefinitely, I will I eventually want kids with a woman?

2017 was a banner year for me in game when my process finally came together.  I started out 2017 losing one of my favorite girls of all time because I accidentally scheduled a date with her best friend, and so I had to start the year building a rotation from scratch and also frankly also deal with the suck of losing a girl that I had such a strong connection with. 

By the end of the year I’ve developed a template for what I look for:  young, cute, a bit of an outsider, and wanting to explore the world.   In this template I’m the man this lucky girls gets to explore the big world with.  It’s the right dynamic for me, and I’ve gotten good at finding the right sort of girls and leading them down this path.  

Here are my stats and highlights from 2017:

  • 79 first dates (mostly from online dating)
  • 41 (52%) of these I chose not to pursue
  • 12 (15%) I pursued but couldn’t close
  • 26 (33%) I closed on the 1st date (4), 2nd date (20) or 3rd date (2)
  • Average age of a new girl was 23 (I turned 43 in mid 2017)
  • In my average month I slept with 5 different girls
  • I also had 3 carryover girls from 2016
  • I had sex 188 times in total, 63% was with four girls

Highlights included:

  • dating a former miss Ukraine I met from nightgame (didn’t close her) while out partying with CMQ and Goldmund
  • the 19 year old Singaporean track runner
  • the 19 year old Stanford student
  • starting things off with “Little me” (18 when we met) who I’m still seeing regularly and is my current favorite
  • Trips to Miami, Tokyo, NYC, Singapore, and Vietnam

With that background here are my stats and highlights form 2018:

  • 78 first dates (again mostly online dating)
  • 44 (56%) of these I chose not to pursue
  • 15 (19%) I pursued but couldn’t close
  • 18 (24%) I closed on the 1st date (3), 2nd date (13), or 3rd date (2)
  • 1 (1% – Miss Puffy Jacket) are still in play as of this writing
  • Average age of a new girl was 22 (I turned 44 in mid 2018)
  • In my average month I slept with 4 different girls
  • I also had 4 carryover girls from 2017
  • I had sex 192 times in total, 66% was with three girls

Highlights included

So maybe I’ve hit a plateau in 2018, or maybe having 3 of my 10 all time favorites in my regular rotation at once slowed me down in terms of pursuing new girls.  I think I’ve gotten pickier, and have chosen not to pursue marginal girls that I would have in the past just to get the notch.  Instead I had my regular girls and new girls came from trips or on occasion when I found one to my liking or felt like some variety.

In addition for the Hong Kong, Singapore, and now for part of the Bangkok trip I’ve chosen to see miss Singapore instead of pursue new girls the whole time (I still closed a few girls on these trips).  I had other work trips to several other cities where I didn’t game or fuck that entire trip, and I think that slowed down the notch rate as well.

Could I get better results from daygame?  Maybe in another city, but I find it hugely time consuming.  I’ve done 25 approaches from it this year and have one open lead back home from it that I may still close.

What I am most happy about is the stability I have with my three regulars.  Close connections with each in their own unique way, and all three know the deal and that I see other girls.  They are 20, 21, and 29 respectively.   All have known my age from the start and all also know that I see other girls. I’ve had no drama with any of them, which again tells me my frame is strong and I’ve internalized the skills of converting girls to me and keeping them happy in my rotation.  

2019 for me will be about deciding if I want to stay in San Francisco or move to another city, and also pursue other goals besides new women.

Relationships are like Salsa Dancing

Relationships are like salsa dancing.  As the man you have to lead, but it’s a partnership between the both of you.  It also take much longer for a man to learn salsa than a woman, just like relationships.  But we have no choice but to do it.

The first time I went salsa dancing was on a 2nd date with a very cute Czech girl.  We got a little drunk, and she said she wanted to salsa (she was good).  In my inexperience I said “sure”.  When in doubt I say “yes”, but in retrospect I should have avoided putting myself into a situation where I was a beginning in front of a girl I was interested in.

At the club I didn’t have any inhibitions and did my best to lead by watching the other couples.  If you’ve never danced salsa, the man leads and decides every twirl and step.  He completely controls the woman’s experiences.  She gets to twirl around and he looks like h’s just doing a few steps, but the realty is she follows his movements and interpretation of the music completely.  The entire quality of her experience is on him.  It takes years for a man to get good, in part because even an experienced woman can’t teach him.  Whereas a woman can learn in a few sessions because she simply needs to respond to her partner.

So back to my salsa date, I did a fair job faking it for a man who had never even seen salsa dancing before.  but eventually she craved the real thing and I let her dance with a short old guy in his 60’s.  What a difference it was, and she loved it.  Not surprisingly, I never did sleep with her.  But I saw first hand how dating needs to be.  We as men must lead and take the time to learn how to lead right.  We can only learn through experience with some help from other men.  It’s an art just like dancing.  Maybe over time I’ll share how I’ve learned to do it right.