Relationships on My Terms

One of my big focus areas these past three years has been harem building and retention.  It’s a type of pimp game in that you bring the girl into your orbit, consciously build her attachment to you, and shape her into what you want her to be. 

For me this is a sweet spot in the “r/K” or “lover/provider” spectrum. You build a connection with the girls in your rotation, often over months and sometimes years, but you have your freedom to be with other women as you please.

Bringing a girl into your rotation is like training a puppy, you reward and punish behaviors to enforce behavior. You lead her through a range of experiences, most importantly good sex, to get her hooked. It’s also important that your frame is 100% consistent with that of being a lover and you don’t slide into “boyfriend” behaviors or show signs of weakness.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is pimp.jpg
Close…but I’m not one to wear hats

Iceberg slim’s autobiography has good examples, especially the advice he gets from the experienced pimp named Sweet.  And women do their own competing form instinctively as the process of “Betacization” As a man you have to be leading with your own relationship game or you will instead fall into the woman’s frame. 

“A good pimp is always really alone. You gotta always be a puzzle, a mystery to them. That’s how you hold a whore. Don’t get sour. Tell them something new and confusing every day. You can hold ’em as long as you can do it.”

“A pimp is the loneliest bastard on Earth. He’s gotta know his whores. He can’t let them know him. He’s gotta be God all the way.”

Sweet, from Iceberg Slim’s “Pimp”

These are the best quotes from that book and there’s a lot of game in this. To keep regular girls with who know you’re sleeping with other girls and get zero drama, you’ve got to have a 100% strong frame. You’ve got to be mysterious. You only see them once a week or less. You only text 1-2 times a week. And when you see them you fuck them good.

But to really convert her, you give her a range of emotions. You introduce her to new experiences inside and outside of the bedroom. You use BDSM and dirty talk to spike her emotions and connect with you. Occasionally you introduce a bit of controlled drama to give her the rollercoaster of emotions. You continue to escalate the compliance ladder with her inside and outside the bedroom to ensure she’s fully invested. Conversion is an art.

Converting a girl to you can be dark or light depending on what you want to do, which is why it’s rarely talked about.  This same process could be used to pimp out certain girls like in the book or to get yourself a sugarmama, but I’ve focused on it as way to build relationships on my terms. Creating wonderful, concurrent open relationships and life experiences with a variety of girls who’s company I enjoy.

Women get their agency through men, and they look for the right man to make the experiences and life that they want.  Myself, I look for girls who want to this experience. To discover themselves and the world, sexually and otherwise.  I’m the experienced man of the world who shows them the way. 

I’ve enjoyed seeing how girls blossom into what I want them to be all the while they enjoy the experience.  This is the same plot-line of romance novels, although with the fantasy in the end that the heroine wins the player over exclusively.  Women want you to be the man.  To lead.  To be “daddy”.  

As a man you have to know how to lead them through this nature to create something positive for both of you.  This is the “dance” I’ve alluded to in the past. 

The girl I call “Little me” ghost wrote an essay about me and told me about it so I could find it (she ghost wrote it via the author who’s actually pictured, Alexandria Brown, who is not Little Me).  It’s as good an example of how a woman truly wants to feel – the unsure excitement of whether or not she can win over a high value man:

I like complicated. I like dark. I like mysteries that need unraveling. I like you. I like everything you bring to the table even though all you can give me is a few late nights and never any early mornings. I like not knowing where this is going and if I’m ever going to see you again. I’m addicted to the rush that comes along with getting you every once in a while. It excites me.


“Little Me” writing about yours truly makes her feel.  Do read the whole thing.

Don’t be fooled.  This turmoil is what a woman truly wants.  Sexually I’ve seen how much women crave being dominated and submitting to a worthy man.  It’s no different emotionally.  But it has to be with the right balance.

These ongoing non-monogamous mini relationships have been the highlight of my life in game.  Far more than crazy game stories on how I managed to close a girl or one night stands.  I see this as my sweet spot. 

Both the girl and I get great sex, positive experiences, and good memories.  I get the freedom and variety I need as a man, but also gives me an outlet for the “affection addiction” that causes so many players to retire from the game.  

After this recent three week trip to New York I’m wondering if my desire to focus on this aspect of game came from the fact that SF is such a poor dating market for men.  It can take weeks for me to find girls who fit the bill above, and so when I do I want to ensure I manage the (open) relationship well. 

It may be tempting to go more “r” selected on the spectrum and just do one night stands when I move to NY.  But I don’t see myself going away from keeping 2-3 regular girls in my life (even while I enjoy regularly finding sport fucks on the side). 

I’m glad I spent the time in SF that I did. I don’t think it’s likely I’d have consciously focused on this skillset if I’d been in an easy city like NY.  

These have been some of the most fulfilling relationships I’ve ever had, even as these women come and go from my life over time.  

Magnum’s NYC Game Adventures – January 2019

Magnum’s Adventures in Game – NYC January 2019

If you haven’t seen my posts on the goals I had for my winter 2019 NYC trip, you can find the goals here and my overall decision post here

Goodbye text from NYC Girl number 4
….full story below

As is my custom for trips I pipelined several dates via online for my NYC trip.  This lets me hit the ground running with a solid pipeline and ensures I don’t get thirsty from a dry spell. I start to feel it after a few days of not getting laid.

Long lay reports are boring for me to write as most dates follow my first date model (unless I sense it’s on and then I escalate and bounce her home on date 1), and I prefer to look at the big picture trends, so below I’m summarizing my entire 2.5 weeks in NYC. 

As with every other trip I do outside of SF, dating felt on easy mode.   I could feel the difference in marketplaces and had to calibrate my approach a bit.  There were less flakes and all my lays were on the first date, not the second. I got way more IOI’s as well.

Like anywhere else, a man in Manhattan definitely needs to both have value and have game, but there are many more opportunities and it simply just doesn’t take as much persistence or work.

Here’s how things went for me:

  • Girl 1 – 23 year old student originally from Oklahoma.  My first night in New York and it was a brutal 4 degrees F outside (-16 C).  I had her holding my hands most of the date to help warm me up which was good kino.  Ran my standard first date model at a local bar, and felt it was on so I bounced her to a 2nd bar nearby, which became my favorite venue after this date.  I spent a bit too much time with her in bar 2 and we lost some momentum, and by the end I opted not to bounce her home.  Not sure why I passed up a likely lay, but I wasn’t in the mood.  I wasn’t dressed well for the cold.  
  • Girl 2 – 28 year old Costa Rican who admitted that she is dying to meet a man with whom she could be submissive with.  Somehow submissive girls always recognize me for the dominant I am.  Good conversation on a 1 hour first date.  I opted to do the two date model with her based on calibration and her age, but ended up cancelling with her during my date with Girl 4 below.
  • Had my one of my regular SF girls “Little Me” come in for a 36 hour visit.  I wanted to set the precedent for short trips as we’ll likely be in different cities in the near future.  We fucked all weekend and hit some great restaurants as well as the museum of sex.  One downside I found with NYC is the public restrooms don’t lend themselves as well to pulling your girl in for a quickie, which is a favorite pastime I got Little Me hooked on.  Sigh…there is no pussy paradise.
  • Girl 3 – 23 year old student.  Saw her the Sunday evening the day Little Me left for home.  Girl 3 flaked on me twice during my first week during the period of extreme cold (as did several others), but she begged me for a third chance.  I had nothing else booked so I gave it to her.  We met at a local bar and this was one of the strongest “it’s on” moments I’ve ever had.  Sometimes you’re just a girl’s type.  She was 5’9″ and tall girls always love my 6’3 frame so maybe that helped. I had to slow the date down to get to about a 45 minute mark before I bounced her to my apartment since I didn’t want to deal with ASD at my place.  She asked to take a shower after we got to my place, and then we fucked right away when she came out in a towel.  No ASD, and I opted not to see her again.
  • Girl 4 – 22 year old restaurant hostess.  Grew up on the lower east side.  Was planning on running my standard two date model as I had a date 2 planned later that evening to close Girl 2.  But once again things felt “on” from the beginning.  It started slow but the click was definitely there, so with the attraction there I opted to bounce her to another bar to build comfort, and I canceled my date 2 with girl 2 (younger and hotter always wins).  Lots of good kino and we’d have several random moments of intense eye contact, her with her lips open.  Again the bounce to my place was easy and no ASD.    Ironically I ended up flaking on her on a Friday night date 3 days later when things went well with girl 6 below.  But other than her calling me “naughty” she happily came out for another date with me on my last night in New York.  She also sent me the text I copied into this post the morning I left.  This girl fucked like a pornstar and wanted to do things for me to earn her favorite reward, me calling her a “good girl”.  Increasingly I’ve been deeply saying “good girl” as a reward when girls do something that pleases me.  I did this in the texting with miss Kuala Lumpur which I believe helped me get the lay, and Miss Singapore even asked out loud once “why does that hit my pleasure center so much?!”.  I really do love girls and how they are.
  • Girl 5- 25 year old freelancer from Connecticut.  She was just my type physically, and had a sweetness to her that I liked.  My read on her was that she was more “K” selected (close to her family, shares apartment with her sister, no tatoos, etc), so I opted for a 2 date model and cut the first date short after an hour.  We were both free the next date so I opted to do a dinner date at a restaurant.  In the end she wouldn’t bounce to my place for “one last drink” so I wrote her off.  I was disappointed to waste an evening on her, but I’d have taken the night off otherwise anyway.
  • Girl 6 – just turned 18 year old art student from Brooklyn.  A petite 5’1″ girl with a nice round booty, this girl was by far my favorite of the trip.  We had a Friday afternoon coffee date since she was so far underage.  We had clicked well in texting, this girl has one of the best senses of humor of any one I’ve met.  Our banter was great but there was a strong man/woman vibe.  After an hour at the cafe I was going to end the date and head out for an evening planned with girl 4, but girl 6 asked me, “what are we doing next?” so I rolled with it and bounced her to what was now my favorite bar in the east village, one block from my place.  The staff knew me well by this time so didn’t bother to card, and we continued our vibe over a nice drink (I had a virgin drink, and the art student indulged in a nice cocktail).  After another hour with some good kino and escalation I suggested she try the nice Bordeaux I had at my place and she agreed.  I cancelled my date with Girl 4 right before we planned to begin so I could keep momentum with Girl 6 (younger and hotter always wins).  Being younger I could see that Girl 6 she was a bit nervous knowing what that meant.  I gave her more time to roam around my apartment that I normally do, although I teased her comparing her to a nervous little kitten.  It was rather fun watching her settle the nerves and make her inner decision of whether or not to fuck me, I watched with a bit of a grin from the couch confident in the inevitable as I let her settle in.  She then sat across from me on the coffee table rather than next to me on the couch, a clear sign that she needed to build comfort.  One of the advantages to being older is that I’m never in a hurry and I just relaxed and let her do what she needed, I think she felt this and it relaxed her.  It’s no big deal to me if I don’t get laid on any given night because I always have a rotation, and girls can feel this.  The art student started asking me questions like, “do you live here or in SF?”, “do you only date young girls?” etc and of course I answered them all truthfully but tactfully.  It’s funny but girls rarely ask me questions on dates, instead I lead the conversation but asking questions and letting them talk about themselves.  The questions here was much like the text questions I was getting from girls in Bangkok prior to first dates, I smiled at the parallel.  When it finally felt right I pulled her across from the table into my lap as I sit on the couch and started kissing her.  Within about 30 seconds she panted “do you want to fuck me?” and I answered by simply picking her up and carrying her to the bed all the while I was kissing her.  We fucked twice that night and twice the next day.  Lots of vibing and fun conversation in between and not to much sleep.  We did it again two days later for a 2nd date.  She’s one I’ll keep in touch with for my return to NY.  She reminds me of the Stanford girl in dated in 2017, but this one was sweeter.
  • Girl 7 – 20 year old sorority girl from Rutgers.  We had good banter via texting and had also done a short skype call (which I cut short as always).  Date started well but it became apparent this girl was a bit insecure and liked to banter / accuse a bit too much.  When I moved things on to comfort she would keep moving things back to the banter phase, but in a way that didn’t feel sexual.  I ended the date after an hour and wrote her off.

I didn’t keep track but my memory is that I had three girls flake on me, all in the first week of extreme cold.  I flaked on two girls an hour before the date (girls 2 & 4 above), and I cancelled on maybe 3 or 4 others at various points when I was too tired to pursue.  This came from me having to calibrate to the NYC market, I’m used to girls flaking more in other cities so I was double booking evenings.  I also didn’t expect every lay to be a date 1 lay but girls in NYC don’t seem to hesitate once they know they want you.

SF vs NYC dating for men…in meme form

All of the above was from online, which is as good in NYC as anywhere I’ve been.  I did do a handful of daygame sets with Runner.  I number closed a cute blonde in SoHo but the number flaked (I approached off her huge IOI but then she was in a hurry after I stacked and so the interaction was way too short).  Did a second daygame session at the end of my trip with Runner in Penn station at night due to the cold, but the options were slim and frankly I was all fucked out from the girls above.

Red Quest wrote a good post that in game you only see the “Tip of the Spear” This is true.  My view of a man’s success in game is much like that of success in business…you need to work on all three:

  1. Your value.  In game you are the product.  The more you build your value (confidence, charm, charisma, physique, fashion, influence and social connections, sexual abilities, etc) the more women will want you.  If you’re not attractive the best game in the world will do you no good
  2. Your actual game.  This is sales of you as the product.  If you have high value but don’t approach women you won’t get laid.  They need to learn about you in an attractive way, and then you need to lead them from interest to close.  You need a systemic way of doing this (nightgame, daygame, online, social circle) and manage this whole sales funnel like a process.  To Red Quest’s point this is the part most men focus on.  In part I think a lot of lazy guys are looking for “game hacks” so they can avoid the hard work of building value which takes years.
  3. Your dating market.  Are there a lot of attractive younger women relative to men where you live?  I see now that I’ve made things much harder for myself by living most of my life in the worst counties in the country for men to date.  It likely contributed to me getting married as young as I did. But on the plus side I doubt I’d have developed my game skills as much as I have if SF wasn’t such a tough market for men.

I feel I’ve maximized my value as much as I can.  At 44 my fight is to preserve what I’ve built.  I’ve got room to improve my game but I’d say I’m solid at this point. 

Personally my biggest opportunity is to improve my market.  I look forward to my move to NYC.

First Date Model Hypocrite

I’m a hypocrite.  No sooner did I publish a post advocating the two date model then I go and get four first date lays in less than a month. 

It’s not that I’m being disingenuous. Rather it was writing the post on my first date model that made me examine what I do on a date and it made me spell out my escalation process.  Again I have to thank the gentlemen who encouraged me to start this blog.

Since my first date model post I’ve been ensuring that I hit each question on every first date (in a calibrated way, fractionated with small talk and appropriate kino). 

The lesson here is that the two date model is a good structure, but calibration trumps structure every time. If you feel that it’s on by all means pull the trigger.

Again I think writing that post helped me be more mindful and systematic regarding what I’ve been doing on first dates, and then with a bit of luck, calibration, and leadership things have gone my way.

I’ve done  7 first dates with new girls in January so far (with 4 more scheduled here in NYC). This is in addition to seeing one of my regulars in Bangkok in early January and two of my regulars in SF mid-month. Here’s the break down of January’s 7 dates so far:

1. (closed) the very fun date with the 21 year old Miss Kuala Lumpur

2. (lost) A 23 year old nursing student in SF, solid date but wouldn’t bounce home with me. Trailed off in the after date texting.

3. (closed) A 24 year old nursing student in SF who I bounced home after she was very clearly “on” and had both her legs in my lap.

4. (dropped) A 23 year old New York girl who came out on the coldest day of the year. We had two drinks and it felt like I could bounce her home, but I opted not to since I was cold and not in the mood.

5. (dropped) A 28 year old Costa Rican girl here in NYC. Positive date, I had a date 2 lined up but it was stacked after date 7 below so I cancelled on her when I opted to take date 7 back to my place.

6. (closed) A 23 year old New York girl who flaked on me twice, but then begged me to meet up, and once she showed up turned out to be one of the biggest “yes” girls I’ve ever dated. It just shows that sometimes girls can be random.

7. (closed) A 22 year old native New Yorker who was also a strong click from the beginning. Massive eye contact. I opted to bounce her to two different bars before taking her home (and cancelled on the Costa Rican girl as I did it). Several rounds of wild sex and a very fun date overall.

Book Review: Sex Clubs, Non-monogamy, and Game by the Red Quest

I had the privilege of being one of the men that the Red Quest asked to provide input on the manuscript for his book, “Sex Clubs, Non-Monogamy, and Game“.  He’s finished the book in part with my input and is now giving the book away for free (downloadable at the link).

Worthwhile read

It’s a unique book based on his years of experience in the sex club / swinger scene in his city.  In the first half of the book he covers why a man would want to include sex clubs as part of his game, and in the second half of the book he shares lots of specific examples from his own dating life.  

Personally I haven’t had direct experience with sex clubs.  I’ve had FFM threesomes, and I once took a 22 year old I was dating to a sex club here in San Francisco.  But we left after 10 minutes, the club was slow and frankly we didn’t like the looks of anyone else there.  So I was curious to read Red Quest’s take on this scene and how to integrate it into non-monogamous relationship management.

As I’ve written about here and here, it’s your role as a man to lead your woman.  Lead her experience and take her to places she’s never been before.  Doing this right I’ve been able to keep the attractive women I want in my life, without having to promise monogamy.  Women want to be lead by an exciting lover as a means for them to experience the world.  And I can see from “Sex Clubs, Non-Monogamy, and Game” that sex clubs could be part of your larger game in doing this leading…if you had the skills and inclination.

After reading this book, here are the positives I see for bringing your girls to sex clubs:

  • you frame yourself as top tier lover because you’ve opened her to experiences she’s only fantasized about but would never make happen on her own
  • her attraction for you can increase as she watches you fuck other girls (preselection at its most primal)
  • you can leverage her for variety both by swapping her with other couples and also having her recruit other girls for you
  • the sex club scene in your city becomes a long term “ecosystem” / social circle you can leverage for constantly finding new partners – if you have the social savvy and sex skills to be a top-tier guy in the sex club scene in your city

Here are the downsides I see:

  • I doubt most guys can pull this off – this is advanced level game and your looks, game, and sex skills need to be on point.  You need a strong frame and ability to lead
  • other guys will try and poach your girl
  • you have to manage not just your relationship with the girl you bring but your relationship with the other couples you play with
  • most guys won’t enjoy watching “their” girl fuck other guys…even if it means they get to fuck other girls at the same time
  • From my very limited experience in San Francisco I’m not convinced there are many attractive women in the sex club scene (I’m picky and prefer petite college aged girls)

I think this is a worthwhile read to any one who’s had some curiosity about the sex club world.  There’s value here in reading about Red Quest’s advanced level game in action, even if all you’re looking to do is merge girls you’re already dating into a FFM threesome with you. 

Read it and decide for yourself if it’s a world you want to enter.  

There is No End Game

A lot of men have been talking about end game (RedQuest | Roy Walker | Troy Francis | Krauser / Jimmy Jambone among others).  (addition 1/27: Tom Torero weighs in that there is no end game). The question seems to be, “is being a player all there is?” and “what comes after being a player?”.  It seems for many that after 5-10 years in the game the rush of getting yet another notch doesn’t do it any more. 

I suspect what this ultimately comes down to is that men want pair-bonding.  I’m 44 years old and have personally experienced the full range of types of relationships with women, from same day sport fucks to fuck buddies to harems to girlfriends to my marriage (ended 5 years ago). 

From this experience I truly believe that sexual pair-bonding with a woman can’t last more than 3-5 years tops, before your relationship degrades into routine without any real spark.  This is how nature intended it:  pair up long enough to produce offspring and get them into childhood, then rotate to a new partner to diversify your genes.  We can’t get around our DNA.  

So I’m at peace with being a player forever.  As a man you have to be able to bring new women into your life on an ongoing basis, and pair-bond with them as you see fit. 

What fits best for me (every man is different) is having 2-4 regular girls at a time in my life, where I see each once a week.  In effect this is a portfolio of girls with whom I pair-bond in different ways for as long as the honeymoon period lasts (“sweet spot” might be a better term), in some cases for years and still going. 

What I like about this in effect is I’m always in the honeymoon phase, even as girls eventually come and go.  It’s on you as the man to manage these relationships properly and keep them fresh.  

With hedonic adaptation our brains gets used to routine.  I attribute a portion of my satisfaction with this lifestyle to the fact that I never let these mini relationships get routine.  I vary up where we go, what we do, how we fuck every single time.  How we lead the dance makes a difference in getting more satisfaction and longevity out of these relationships while they last.

None of these relationships will last “forever” because nothing in life lasts forever.  There is no end to this process, just like there is no end to exercise and good nutrition.  It’s a part of a healthy life and supports you in your higher mission, whatever that is for you.  

This is why we have to constantly game and constantly build value as men.  We are not meant to rest in life.  We’re meant to strive till we die. 

Honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Happiness is making progress towards meaningful goals.  Achieving those goals is anti-climatic. 

There is no end game.

Magnum’s First Date Model

Nash at Days of Game tweeted this at me the other day:

BTW…I have been coaching a friend.  And I was telling him your theories on MAKING OUT WITH THE GIRL on the FIRST DATE.

You/I have different strategies…so i told him both of ours, let him choose.  I bet other guys would like to hear your POV.

Nash @ Days of Game

With that set up how could I refuse?  For better or worse, here’s my dating model that I prefer. I know men like Nash and Pancake Mouse have different styles.  As the strong silent type, this is what works for me.  I went on dates with 157 different girls in 2017+2018 and you can see my results here (I closed 61% of these girls that I chose to pursue).

I primarily date from online game.  I find it more efficient here in San Francisco than I find daygame, and it allows me to number farm during the day while I’m working and then reserve evenings for the actual dates.  This may be an extension of good looking guy game, but I have really good pictures so I find in SF the quality is about the same between online and daygame as well.  

I default to a two date model.  The first date is usually an hour or so at a nice bar convenient to my place.  The second date is dinner at my place (or if she rejects this another drink at another bar nearby).  

Since usually the first date is the first time I’m seeing the girl in person, it helps me screen if I really want to go any further with her (of the 157 girls I met up with in 2017+2018 I choose not to pursue 85 of them).  I’ll end the date quickly if I’m not in to her with no remorse. 

I find the more attracted I am to a girl the more she feels this and reflects it back to me.  Girls can feel when you’re not that in to them but trying to fuck them because she just happens to be there.  

There are plenty of times when I feel that “it’s on” and so opt to pull the trigger to bounce her to my place on the first date.  I don’t plan on it, but it happened for 10% of the girls I opted to pursue, including the Malaysian girl last week.  

The two date model has the advantage of reducing the ASD you’ll get verses trying to push for the lay on the first date.  I find with my approach although it usually takes two dates to seal the deal, I end up spending less face time with her than it would take to bounce to multiple date venues and also bust through ASD like you often have to in order to get the first date lay.

Mystery said it takes about 7 hours of face time to close a girl, but with a two date model I find it’s often more like 2-3 hours if you do it right.  This is because the vacuum between the two dates does some of the work for you.  What can I say I’m all about efficiency.

I could write pages on how to do a first date, but a few key points come to mind:

  • Make her hug you when you meet, start talking to her like you already know her. 
  • Ignore her beauty.  I’ve always been good at this naturally, go on a lot of dates so you don’t give a fuck about closing any one particular girl.  She needs to feel this.
  • She will mirror your frame.  If you’re attracted it should raise your vibe and she will feel it and it will raise her attraction.  
  • Tease her within the first 20 seconds of meeting – I like to make a playful observation about what she’s wearing.
  • She may be a bit challenging in the beginning.  Usually not shit tests but challenging.  Shrug it off and tease / challenge her as appropriate, with your confident masculine vibe.  She’ll start to fall under your frame and the rest is downhill from there.
  • Be sure to sit side by side at a bar or couch so you can kino.
  • Lead the conversation but ensure she does 70-80% of the talking.  Do this by mostly asking questions.
  • Lean back and be relaxed.  Your body language should be confident.  The most important thing is your eyes.   Make strong eye contact, but at times also look away.  You can seduce a woman who doesn’t speak your language purely with body language and eye contact, as I did in Thailand.
  • For the first 10 minutes do mostly get to know you chit-chat with the occasional tease. This part may need to be higher energy on your part to get things going.  You should already start to kino her by touching her hand, or evening interrupting what she says to touch and make a comment about her jewelry.  Touch her elbow, knee, etc to emphasize points.
  • About 10 minutes in start to work in verbal escalations.  Fractionate between escalations and normal get to know you chit chat about her family and aspirations.  Calibrate how far you push this based on her responses and body langauge.  These are questions like:
    • What’s your guilty pleasure?
    • What kind of guys do you like?
    • When was your last significant relationship?  What was the sex like?
    • How do you prefer to cum?
    • (towards the end) what do you like about me?
  • As appropriate throw in the occasional (20% of talking) DHV story
  • Continue to escalate the kino and intensity of eye contact.  
  • Make comments to show you are “woke” and get the “secret society”.  My go to comment is how “it’s a double standard that women get judged and it’s wrong.  We’re all sexual beings, and it’s a shame society makes women hide it.”  This goes a long way to letting them get comfortable with you as the “lover” instead of a beta “provider”.
  • Be the one to end the conversation around the hour mark.  You’re a man in demand and have to go.

She should come away from this first date feeling good from the talking, the kino, and the fractionation of conversation topics.  But also wondering if she’s going to see you again because you ended it. 

If you do want to see her again text her the next day and pitch date 2 at your place.  If you do date 1 right she should happily agree to it, and sex is highly likely.  Because you built this bubble with her and then vacuumed for 24 hours or so after before texting her again, she feels your value and is more eager to close the deal.  With this two date model you can lose girls if it takes too long between date 1 and date 2, but you also don’t get much ASD on the date 2’s at your place.

I never go for a kiss on the first date because I have found it raises ASD for date 2.  The little hamster in her girl brain can justify coming over to your place by saying, “we haven’t even kissed yet, so we’ll probably just do that”.  If you’ve kissed her on date 1, she will understand that you will want more than that on date 2, which raises her ASD and makes it less likely she’ll come over.  Kissing her on a date when you’re not going to pull the trigger to go all the way also kills some of your mystery and raises ASD and buyer’s remorse.  

That’s what I do in a nutshell.  Welcome any and all comments you may have below.

Addendum:

It should go without saying, but this only a model and should be subject to calibration. If you sense it’s “on” after doing the above, bounce her home or isolate her and escalate to fuck her.

But I’d only recommend doing this if you’re reasonably sure it’s on, if you escalate for sex on the first date and don’t close, there’s a high chance she’ll ghost afterwards.

Starting the Year with a Bang (Kuala Lumpur 2019 Lay Report)

My last day in Kuala Lumpur and I scheduled my first date for my 2 day stay here in the afternoon.  The texting was good after I demonstrated my frame to her, and she agreed to meet me at my hotel for a drink at 4pm in the afternoon.  Knowing this was my last day in town I had to go for the first date lay, but I had a feel that this 21 year old was promising from the texting.  I had teased her my saying she has to come with her biggest smile, and she texted me the next day to show me a screenshot of how she put that in her reminders on her phone (“come with a big smile”).  Game on.

We met in the lobby and I led her to the bar.  She ordered a gin and tonic while I had my normal sparkling water since I prefer not to drink alcohol.  More good signs.  She was nervous in a good way and I fractionated right away between verbal escalations (“what type of guys do you like?”, “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”, and “what do you like about me?”) and basic get to know you talk.  All the while I also escalated the kino, touching the ring on her hand, touching her earlobe as I noticed out loud she had no earring, and holding her hand to compare how big mine is relative to hers.  

She gave me a great opening to set the secret society tone in saying how everyone thought she was innocent when she’s not, and I used the opportunity to talk about how I don’t like the double standard that gets applied to women, where they have to pretend to be good girls and not sexual beings, and that no one should be judged for having sex as it’s a health part of life and we are all sexual people.   I truly believe this, and I find this is a key message to convey on every first date and goes a long way in making a girl comfortable in fucking you if the attraction is also there.  

After about 45 minutes as she finished most of her drink, I suggested that before she heads out that she try some of the nice dark chocolate I have in my room.  “OK” she chirped happily, and up we went.  I asked her to take off her shoes and left her alone a few minutes as I used the restroom, and found her standing by the window admiring the city view when I came out.  Standing beside her we talked about the view and how short she is to me (150cm to my 191cm), so she stood on the low window still so we were standing face to face, and we started to kiss.  It was so on the whole time I slowed things down just a tad to ensure she had enough foreplay and to also pre-empt any ASD that might pop up.  None ever did.  With ten minutes of making out she was on her knees sucking my dick and then onto the bed to fuck like animals.

A very submissive girl.  They seem to know how to find me.  She later said she could just tell I was dominant from the start. I used my belt to tie her up as I did her doggy, making her say how she’s my little slut as I fucked her hard (I made her pussy bleed onto the sheets and she wasn’t on her period).  I came looking straight in her eyes.  It was a great first new girl of the year and a good welcome to Malaysia.  We cuddled a bit afterwards and she kept foundling my cock, and in about 20 minutes we went again for round 2.  She was too sore to fuck again but gladly volunteered to suck me off and put a lot of heart in to it.  Submissive girls love to please.

We didn’t have any chocolate until afterwards when I walked her down to her car with her wearing her cute little sun dress that she came in.  It was a sweet ending to a very nice afternoon.  The entire date end to end was about two and a half hours.  She was off to dinner with family and drinks with friends that night.  We’ll likely never see each other again.

This is the secret society and how most girls like to be at least for one phase of their young adult lives.  Consequence free sex with a man who won’t judge them and who they can tell can deliver the goods.   Be that man.