Magnum's Threesome Game and Lay Report

I don’t write many lay reports because I find them boring.

Good seduction competently follows Mystery’s attraction, comfort, escalation model and so lay reports tend to get repetitious. I’m much more interested in the principles of game that you can use repeatedly to get ongoing results than any one particular story.

Knowing the underlying principles means you can get repeat results. Recently I pulled together a threesome with my main girl and a new one I met, and taking RPD’s excellent advice I wanted to write this lay report to crystallize for myself what I did right while my thoughts are fresh. I intend to do more of these in the future.

I have to credit Red Quest and his book as well as Hector Beaman’s tweets on “Game 3.0” as well. They left me feeling that I could be pushing my envelope and doing more threesomes as well as better leveraging my relationships with my regulars.

From these guys and my own experience I’ve had the nagging feeling that many of the girls I date would be up for threesomes if I set things up right, and it’s been a goal for me to get better at this. The more I date the more I learn just how sexual women are, but at the same time they must be led and are often just waiting for the right man to create opportunities for them.

Over the course of 2019 I’ve increasingly become closer to one of my regular girls in particular. She started out as something casual several years ago but over time we’ve developed a close bond and we have each other’s trust. She knows I will always date multiple women and encourages it, and she has earned her position as my main girl.

This main girl of mine is very sexual and open minded like me, but she is not bi-sexual or in to girls.

So my first approach to setting up a threesome was verbalizing threesome fantasies to her once in a while as part of the dirty talk we have during sex. I’d let her enjoy the fantasy of having another girl as an additional “fuck toy” for us to enjoy together, bringing this up occasionally when fucking in an intensely sexual state.

This planted the seed made her open to the experience (learning 1 below). I’d also tell her how exciting it would be for her to watch my pleasure and enjoy another girl. This would get her excited, and I could see the potential was there.

With the seed planted I gave my main the homework of finding a friend for us to play with. She’s still in her early 20’s and girls in the 18-23 range tend to be the most sexually open, so the possibility was there. This could have worked because she did try (learning 2 below), but the few candidate girls in her social circle are currently cuffed so this avenue wasn’t going to come through any time soon.

I thought about bringing in one of my other regular girls. But as I felt them out verbally they all indicated that they either weren’t into girls and/or that they would feel jealous or uncomfortable. At the same time I didn’t want to create drama main girl by introducing her to a girl that I have an ongoing thing with. My mistake here was that I wasn’t planting the seed for threesomes with my other regulars from the start (learning 1 once again). It was clear that a threesome at this point would best be done with a new girl.

My main girl, bless her heart, also tried to complete the homework I gave her of finding us another girl by using an online dating app made especially for threesomes. But the matches on there were mostly couples, and beyond that the quality was very poor.

So with this as with all things related to women I realized it would be up to me entirely to make things happen (learning 3 below). My mental block was that I liked where I was with my main girl and I didn’t want to change our current dynamic or initiate drama since we’re in a very good place.

Then in passing she asked me, “When are you going to find a threesome for us?”. Very subtle. This was my sign to get up off my ass and make it happen.

At the time she brought this up, I had already set up a first date with a cute middle-eastern girl I met online for the next day. The new girl had just texted me to confirm our date, which is a positive sign that her interest in me was high.

Because my main girl was completely in at this point and the new girl seemed on from the texting I decided to go for it. I told my main girl that a cute new girl her age was texting me, and suggested that the three of us go out for drinks together and see what happens. She was in.

So I pitched the date via text to the new girl like this:

The lesson I learned from feeling out my regulars is that pitching things verbally was too direct. So from this text onward I kept things indirect verbally and instead relied upon my actions and leadership to make it happen (learning 4).

I have no doubt that the new girl understood everything from the moment I sent the above text, but at no time did I verbalize the intent. Instead I led both girls strongly through the date to make the experience happen (learning 5). As you shall see.

With the date confirmed I ran my standard first date model. My main girl and I met the new girl at a nice bar and I led us through a one hour conversation.

We sat around a small table and I made sure to sit in the middle so I can touch both girls gently as needed. The first few minutes were get to know you small talk as we ordered drinks and I’d include the occasional light tease to spike things up. I then transitioned in to relationship talk to get things interesting, asking new girl about her dating history, the types of men she likes, where she likes to travel and so on.

My main girl blurted out at one point, “you can’t ask her that!” when I asked why her last relationship ended and we were only 15 minutes in to the date, but new girl and I both smiled and she happily answered. Don’t ever take dating advice from women. It was important to break the ice and set an intimate tone without being too overtly sexual until comfort was built.

New girl was very introverted and she would give short answers to my questions. My main girl is outgoing but she was fairly quiet throughout, although I ensured all three of us were included in the conversation. I could tell main girl was enjoying seeing this side of me and she was also deferring to my leadership. So I had to do most of the conversational work, much more than I normally do on a first date.

We were all a bit nervous and excited as well knowing what was likely going down. Both girls are extremely attractive, and I believe this helped create more attraction in them to me via pre-selection. I kept the energy high and the vibe light and fun, and didn’t get into sexual topics since my feel of the situation was that the three of us being together on a date was enough of a sexual charge as it was. The attraction was there and my focus was on building comfort.

I sensed all of us were feeling a bit nervous despite sensing that everything was completely on. I instinctively knew the girls would feel what I feel and follow my lead so I kept a happy and playful vibe and mixed in plenty of comfort topics along with the subject of dating and occasional tease, of both girls. I did my best to bring out fun conversation from both girls. I normally don’t play such an extroverted role on dates, but since the girls were nervous I had to keep the right vibe and energy going (learning 6).

I made sure to take a break during the date to use the bathroom (something my main girl and I planned prior) so that the girls could talk and get to know each other 1:1. My main girl later said this helped them connect with each other better and made them more comfortable (learning 7).

At around the hour mark I could feel the energy ebbing and that it was time to bounce. The bar was a block away from my place (always have your logistics sorted – learning 8) and without saying where we were going I suggested we get another drink, which the girls readily agreed to.

Then the waiter comes and tells me they overcharged me for drinks and needed to re-bill me. My main girl later said she thought they wanted to check me out since I was an older man with two attractive young women in their early 20’s. I don’t think this was the case, but since we were losing momentum and the overcharge was something like $20 I just took the girls and left. Momentum is key (learning 9).

I walked them straight to my place keeping small talk going the whole time. When we arrived I told new girl, “I live right here, why don’t we just have a drink at my place?” and she agreed. Up we all went. My main later teased me for how smooth the suggestion was. To be honest, from the time of new girl’s response to my suggestion to bring my main girl above and also from the fact that new girl showed up to the date I never had a doubt that it was on, as long as I led us through properly.

I went to put on music and took my time so the girls could have a bit more 1:1 time. My main girl had another drink and new girl and I had water. The three of us sat next to each other on the couch with me in the middle. My legs were touching a girl on either side, my main girl to the left and new girl on the right.

Throughout the date I was making eye contact with my main girl to ensure she was good (learning 10). She would eye code me that she was. Sitting on the couch I checked in with her again non-verbally as we all made small talk. Green light. New girl would later comment how she could see the connection between my main girl and I. I’m sure this helped build comfort and pre-selection.

It being January it was a bit cold and I was trying not to shiver. It was time to escalate. I did what I normally do when going for the kiss, which was to just finish a sentence and let the conversation pause, while I gently and confidently held new girl’s arm and pulled her in to me for the kiss.

I kissed her gently but passionately for a few seconds and then I pulled back to give her a moment to take it all in. I could tell her heart was pounding.

Then I turned to my left to my main girl and did the same with her. She was all smiles. I went back and kissed new girl deeper and longer, and then alternated again giving the girls equal time (learning 11).

Although more of the conversation up until this point was focused on new girl since she was getting to know us, from this point on in the date I made sure to give equal sexual attention to both. If I was making out with one girl I was sure to be at least touching the other girl.

Then I suggested the two of them kiss each other and they refused…like two shy little school girls. I took this as a sign they just weren’t bi-sexual and so I knew that this was going to be a threesome where I would need to do most of the work.

Unfazed by the minor non-compliance I had new girl face and straddle me as I sat on the couch and I made out with her more. I used this position to reach around and finger her from behind while I sucked on her tits getting her very worked up. I needed to get her going to calm her nerves. I knew once aroused the girls would be willing to go further sexually.

I took off her dress and then made out with my main girl some more while rubbing new girl’s pussy. Being familiar with me, my main girl didn’t need as much foreplay and I could tell she was getting turned on by seeing me expertly seduce another attractive girl in front of her.

With the girls heated up I led them both by the hand to the bedroom and had them strip naked as I got naked as well. With my nerves and excitement I wasn’t yet fully hard. So I had them both girls kneel down in front of me and take care of that for me, with new girl sucking on the head while my main girl worked the shaft. It’s one of the best visuals a man can see.

I lifted new girl up and put her on the bed and my main girl joined us. I started going down on new girl while at the same time fingering my main girl. After going down on new girl I fucked her first. I wanted to keep up the momentum with her so she wouldn’t get cold feet.

Once we started fucking she really got in to it. I used a condom on new girl and would take it off with my main girl. I’d switch girls every 5-10 minutes or so and fuck them in different positions as well. There was a feeling of intensity between me and each girl while I was fucking her, the eye contact with both was extremely strong and intense.

My guiding principle for the session was to ensure no girl was ever left out. So as I would fuck one I’d make the other suck her tits or make out with the girl being fucked. I would finger a girl while I fucked the other one. Or have a girl play with my balls while I’m fucking the other. I tend to go long during sex and I’m in shape, so a threesome like this is a complete physical workout and yet there is more to be aware of with the extra girl.

After going through three condoms in this way the girls were very in to it and had no problem kissing each other. New girl also went down on my main girl and asked to scissor her, and main girl happily agreed.

I was finally ready to finish . I had my girl on her knees again sucking my balls while new girl titty fucked me, and then I pulled them together to take my full load on their tits. It was a very sexy scene.

I like to cuddle after sex so I pulled them both onto the bed with me and had my main girl on my left and the new girl on my right.

With the afterglow we went back to small talk some more. This is where I learned that new girl was born in Iraq (I’d have guessed she was Greek she was very fair), this had been her first threesome, and lots more. New girl commented how main girl and I connect a lot non-verbally which she liked.

The date had started at 7pm and it was about 10pm. 1 hour at the bar, 30 minutes transition, and 90 minutes of sex with cuddling. None of us had eaten. So I suggested a little place down the street for dinner and off we went. After dinner new girl ubered home and my main girl came back with me to spend the night.

I won’t go in to details but my main girl confirmed to me once we were alone that we were closer than ever.

She already knew that I’m good with women and I will always date multiple girls, but this time she saw me in action with a girl as least as attractive as she is. I had led and made an amazing experience happen for us. In retrospect I think my fears of drama were overblown. Making this threesome happen allowed me to directly demonstrate many of the qualities in a man that Jimmy Jambone points out are key for attraction:

  1. Sociable nature
  2. Leadership
  3. Sex appeal
  4. Communication
  5. Positive, passionate, ambitious
  6. Indifference (outcome independent)
  7. Humor
  8. Health

Finally I have to say there was an element of luck. A lot of girls would have ghosted after my suggestion text while instead new girl came out. I will be trying this process more often so I’ll find out just how much came down to finding the right girl.

This exercise of writing everything down in detail has also helped me see there was a lot of good game on my part at at the very least I didn’t fuck things up with two “yes” girls.

I look forward to the future experiences to come.

– Magnum

Magnum’s Threesome Game Takeaways:

  1. Set the frame from the first time you meet a girl that you’re a sexual, non-judgmental guy. Plant the seed with women you date as part of your sexual dirty talk that a threesome would be fun for you and her to enjoy together.
  2. Give girls you date the homework to find other girls for threesomes.
  3. Although it’s good to give your women homework to find other girls, don’t rely on this alone. As the man it’s up to you to make things happen.
  4. When pitching the actual threesome date to a girl you don’t know well, be indirect. Instead just suggest another friend joins for a drink or that you hang out at your place. Give girls plausible deniability.
  5. Threesomes take even stronger leading than a normal 1:1 date. You as the man have to lead the girls through the entire process.
  6. You set the vibe and energy throughout and be prepared to do most of the conversational work.
  7. Give the girls some time 1:1 during the first date together if they don’t know each other well in order to help them connect girl to girl.
  8. Always have your logistics planned in advance. If you don’t meet straight at your place meet somewhere very nearby to keep the bounce home short. Have condoms ready at your place. Logistics are fundamental.
  9. Keep the momentum moving. Use your instincts and experience of when attraction and comfort have been achieved, and don’t miss your window for isolating and escalating to sex. You have two girls to bring through the seduction process so be mindful of both and where you are in the process all together.
  10. If you’re having a threesome with a girl you’re seeing regularly, be sure to agree ground rules with her up front. Give her comfort that the threesome won’t change your dynamic, and also check in with her non-verbally throughout the date.
  11. With a threesome you’re dating two girls, give them both attention. Eye contact, conversation, foreplay, sex. Don’t give all your attention to one at the expense of the other. This is a threesome…not you fucking a girl while the other one watches.

Rivelino's Fifteen Questions with Magnum

I was honored to have Rivelino interview me as part of his ongoing game questions on his blog.

Riv asked some great thought-provoking questions that pulled some decent answers out of me that I didn’t even know I had.

Highly recommended. Please check it out on Rivelo’s blog

– Magnum

Here’s Rivelino’s transcript as well:

Magnum is living large. He’s tall, good-looking, traveling the world, having sex with lots of young women. He also has an excellent blog, with his famous first date model and a simple nutrition guide that I liked a lot. Here’s my interview with Magnum. He’s got a lot of knowledge to share, so pay attention.

Fifteen Questions with Magnum

1. Basic biographical info
Name: Magnum
Age: 45
Height: 6’3″
Lifetime bangs: low triple digits

2. How would you rate yourself from 1-10?
This is a tough question to answer without sounding like I’m bragging, but it leads me to a key point. The best outside opinion I got on this was when I was at Liv in Miami which is a big club in South Beach. I was there with Christian McQueen a few years back and he called me a male 9. He said it in passing on another topic and it was a genuine comment he made as we were checking out the girls there and noticing their IOI’s, and he said that the only way I could be a 10 would be to be famous. I think that’s as good a measure as any.

What’s more important to me is that I truly believe there is no woman that is “out of my league”. I know my value and if I present it effectively, which is what game is all about, I know I have a chance with any girl. She may not be interested in meeting new men, and I may not be her “type of guy”, but I know as an overall package I’m attractive to even the most attractive women. I’ve built enough reference experience to prove it myself.

3. How did you discover Game? Who were your biggest influences?
I discovered game by finding Roissy in DC’s blog back in 2008. This was before it became Heartiste. Back then Roissy was just taking off, and over the next few years he put to words a lot of the concepts that influenced later writers. I know both Blackdragon and Krauser have credited Roissy as a big influence, and those two guys along with Tom Torero would be my next biggest influences. Blackdragon for online game and relationship management, and Krauser and Torero for daygame and texting game (Mr V‘s recently published text game summary is also outstanding). I also learned a lot from Christian McQueen and Goldmund when it comes to approaching, non-verbal game, drawing women in to you, and getting women addicted to how you fuck them.

4. Everything you know about women, can you distill it down to 5 key points?
There’s an art to women that goes well beyond just a few points. But in terms of essential frameworks that span across your every interaction with women, these are the three key themes that come to mind:

A) You are her daddy. She is not your peer, she is your girl. This means you lead. You alone are responsible for every interaction and making things go well, from choosing what you do when out, to how the sex will go down, to punishing bad behavior. This is what she wants. She will test your conviction if she senses weakness, but once you’ve proven your strength and leadership she will naturally become feminine and crave your leadership. It’s the dynamic that is meant to be between women and men.

B) Push/pull should be infused in your every interaction with women. Your relationships with women, from opening them on the street, to texting, to dates, to sex, to ongoing relationship management at whatever level you choose – it’s a dance. You are leading her emotions and enabling experiences for the both of you, experiences she can feel. She feels this through the ups and downs. You compliment her, and then you follow it with a tease. You tease her on the date and bring up sexual topics, and then you switch to normal comfort topics in the very next sentence like it’s no big deal. You fuck her hard telling her what a dirty little slut she is while you choke her, and then you slow it down and tell her how close you feel to her and how you can tell by how wet she is that she’s been missing you while you let her feel your affection. You take her on a fun adventure date, and then you don’t text her for a few days. The worst sin with women is to be boring…push/pull done well ensures you never will be.

C) As a man you need to have a larger mission in life than your woman. This is what gives you the true outcome independence that will keep you unaffected by the ups and downs of dating. You need to have spent time on your own in learning who you are, and what you want to achieve in life. These achievements have to be meaningful, long term things that excite you, and cannot be just about women. When you have this larger purpose in life, and you are making progress towards that, you will be happy. This ties to being daddy. Women can feel if you are a man and if you have this purpose, or if you’re lost. It makes you outcome independent. Did a girl flake on your date that night? No problem, that means you get to work on your real passion whatever that is. Is a girl you’re seeing giving you drama? No problem, just next her. You’ve got more important things to do than spend time with any one woman who doesn’t meet your standards of behavior. Outcome independence makes you much more attractive to women as well as a bi-product. They want to be apart of a man’s world, they do not want to be a man’s world. I view women like I view good nutrition. It’s necessary but sufficient. If you fuck up your nutrition or your dating life it will have a big negative impact on your life. But having good nutrition or a good dating life alone is not enough to be happy overall as a man, we are much bigger than that.

5. Since your divorce, you’ve been traveling a lot and having a lot of success with women. Do you have a favorite type of girl (ethnicity, body type, hair color)? Has that changed at all from the woman you married?
I’ve been consistent my adult life in that I prefer petite, feminine, slender women with dark hair. I also prefer women who are intelligent, highly sexual, and typically have some sort of outsider status to them, which can mean a lot of different things. When I first started dating again after my divorce I was dating women from their late 20’s into their late 30’s. But as I gained experience and improved my game and dating I learned that I prefer younger women and I learned how to meet them. The average age of the girls I’ve slept with since 2016 is 24, while the average age between my divorce in 2013 and the end of 2015 was 31. I see this as a good improvement.

6. I’m curious about what you mean by women with “outsider status”. Can you give an example? Why are you attracted to this type of woman, is it because they’re more interesting or unpredictable?
When I say “outsider status” I’m borrowing a Krauser term, one of the many good ones he’s defined in game. By outsider status I mean that the girl at least views herself as in some way outside of the mainstream for girls her age. That can mean a lot of different things, such as, she’s an introvert, or into a certain party or music sub culture, or she’s into older guys and BDSM, or whatever. The important thing is this is part of her self image, and so consistent with that self image she’s at least open to dating a man like me who’s much older than her and outside of her normal social circle. I find girls who have this outsider status tend to be more intelligent and more interesting as well. I enjoy the process of learning how they think and also about the various subculture interests they have.

7. Reading your blog, you seem to be successful in everything you do: finances, fitness, women, travel, basically everything. What’s next?
My number one goal in life right now is to continue to fix a collection of old injuries that have left me with chronic pain. More than anything else I can do, that will improve my life from where I am now. I’m making progress and I’m optimistic I can finally put it to rest in 2020, but it’s a long term goal not entirely in my control. Frankly nothing else matters if you don’t have your health.

My next biggest goal is to get my side consulting business to the profit goals for it that I have for this year. I have a full time job that I love, but I’ve enjoyed starting up something on the side completely from scratch that I own with no partners.

Beyond that, my main girl and I are looking to have a kid in line with my blog post on the subject. This means having the kid and raising him together in a way that also protects my independence.

The best answer a girl ever gave me was, “I fall in love when I think I may have a future with the man” and I think that sums up a lot about women. Women are the practical sex, while men are the true romantics. It’s evolutionary. In the hunter gatherer state in which we evolved women can’t take care of themselves, nature’s too brutal. They need a strong man to do that, and women are evolved to find that man.

So in a nutshell I believe we love that which is in our best interest to pass along our genes. For women that’s a strong, “alpha” man who also has the potential to take care of her long term. For men it’s the girl with better reproductive value than the others in his life, the one guys will describe as “she’s really hot and not like the rest!”

More at Rivelino’s blog at the link above!

Follow Magnum on Twitter and on his blog.

Calibration and Game

G’s Up Ho’s Down

One of the most commonly misunderstood areas of game is calibration. In particular, how do you adjust your game based on how the girl sees you at a given moment in time.

Understanding this is key to knowing which game tactics to use as part of your leadership of the seduction dance.

If you haven’t read Mystery Method yet by all means start there. Understanding the basic Attraction -> Comfort -> Seduction model is fundamental to game.

Most guys get the model. But with experience you also learn that in real life the process isn’t linear like the model. You don’t necessary go directly through each of the boxes Mystery lays out in the model one by one. Instead you fractionate between the various steps depending on where you are with the girl.

As Nash rightly points out you need to look at the guy/girl/context. The game you play will always depend on that context.

Mystery developed his method from doing night game in LA in the early 2000’s. That is just one context. A context where the girls have a high opinion of themselves from getting constantly approached. And being in LA the girls are also on the lookout for celebrities and other very high status men at the clubs, so they’re quick to filter and dismiss guys who don’t meet this standard.

Consequently classic mystery method assumes she considers her value higher than yours and so you in response you do things like:

  • Work the venue first to establish your value via social proof and pre-selection (she needs to see you’re a fun guy who women like being around and who men instinctively follow).
  • Open indirect (don’t show too much interest).
  • If needed neg her (remember – a neg is not an insult but rather a neutral comment that can be interpreted positively or negatively, and so the ambiguity makes her wonder about herself).

Do this successfully, and assuming you’re a reasonably attractive guy physically relative to the girl, you’ll have successfully build up her perceived value of you while perhaps knocking down her off her pedestal a bit.

Once you’ve done the work in the attraction phase then you proceed to ground the interaction by bouncing to another spot and building comfort, with the intent to extract later for seduction.

That method works. And they will work in most contexts because in the majority of cases women will perceive their value as higher than the value of most men.

G’z up Ho’s Down

But what if you’re a man who has game, and/or has built your value over time, and/or have a lot of social proof in the situation, and/or maybe you’re traveling to a country where for whatever reason you’re perceived as “shiny” compared to the majority of local men?

What if she sees you has higher value than her from the start?

In this case where a girl perceives your value is higher than hers and you come in with a neg she may take it poorly and feel that you’re insulting her. Spend too much building yourself up with DHV stories and she may see you as way out of her league.

This can often lead to her not wanting to get pump and dumped, or even being more bitchy to you because she thinks you’re only pretending to like her for an easy lay.

In these cases you take a softer approach with more comfort, as the attraction is already well established:

  • You show genuine interest in her and build connection.
  • You throw in the occasional tease or push to keep things flirty but these are more gentle.
  • Your main work is narrowing her perceived gap in your value so that you are still higher than her, but not so high she will get crushed. This means you show more of your K selected side.

Obviously the second case is much less common but it does happen.

I choose two extreme examples to illustrate the point. In reality this is an ongoing calibration you need to do in your interactions with women.

The point is there is an overall sweet spot. Women date up. You have to ensure she perceives your value as higher than hers, while at the same time if she perceives too big a gap she’ll likely withdraw to protect herself.

Be calibrated to where her perception is and you’ll know what elements of your game to bring to the situation.

If you have good game and a high intrinsic value (a goal for all of us) then you will find that after establishing the initial attraction you will spend more time in comfort (well named).

This goes true for ongoing relationships as well. Do behaviors that lower your value in her eyes and over time and she will lose attraction and stop seeing you. But if she sees your value getting higher than she’s comfortable with, you may find her creating drama, giving you comfort tests, or other type of attention seeking behavior to reassure yourself.

In the interest of completely nerding out, I’ve drafted a matrix to further illustrate. Enjoy:

Gaming Her ValueGaming Your Value
She sees herself as higher value – Neg
– Tease
– Disqualify her
– Social proof
– pre-selection
– DHV stories about how awesome you are
– Qualify her
She sees you as higher value– Compliment her (this is where a lot of guys find that “beta” game works when traveling to non-western countries)
– Future projection
– “Romantic” behaviors (this is the quadrant where a lot of girl advice on dating to men comes from, as women want to be dating men higher value than them)
– Provide comfort
– DHV with stories about how you support family

Again, you want to keep yourself in the “sweet spot” of her perceiving you as higher value than herself, but not not unattainably so.

Magnum's Rules of Retention

@beamanforreal summed up in a tweet something I’ve been thinking about for a while:


Most guys are interested in Game 1.0. Simply getting the girl. Overall, very few guys get to the point where they can get laid with attractive new women consistently. And when guys get finally do get laid they tend to want to “lock her down” either out of scarcity or laziness.

Even players are known to get oneitis for a girl who’s “not like the rest” and want to settle down. It’s a natural tendency for most men at some point. It’s happened to me. But do it wrong and you lose the frame and become beta over time.

I’d say I’m solidly in Game 2.0 above, and starting to experiment with Game 3.0. I’ve been able to keep multiple women that I want to keep around on my own terms (Little me is 20 and have been seeing her for 2 years, artsy girl is 21 and have been seeing her for 1 year, the Singaporean is 29 and have been seeing her for 1 year, girls 4 & 6 from NYC last Feb are ready to meet when I return this summer, etc)

Here then are the rules I’ve developed for keeping the girls I want in my life. There’s a lot underneath and these things are an art and take practice:

  1. You have to have strong frame. She comes into your world or you next her. She has to feel this from you.
  2. You can’t give a fuck. You don’t get jealous or controlling. You have to be willing to walk at any time. You should truly feel that it’s her loss if she doesn’t see you or get time with you.
  3. You have to be sleeping with at least 1-2 other women. Women can tell when they’re your only source of pussy and it’s poison to the proper dynamic. This includes non-verbally letting them feel that you’re with other women but doing little things like living girl hair in your place.
  4. You have to maintain some mystery. Don’t overshare all the details of your life, save that for close friends. Keep her guessing. She has to wonder what you’re doing when you’re not around. Let her mind fill in the blanks.
  5. Being with you has to be a positive experience. Time spent with you is the reward. Mix it up and never do the same thing twice or go to the same places, do what you want to do, but keep things constantly fresh and exciting.
  6. Fuck her good and make her cum. Every time. Mix up the sex and keep it exciting. One time may be a marathon fuck around your place (not just the bedroom), another may be a quickie in a public restroom. One time tie her up and spank her before fucking her, another time keep it more emotional and connective. Again keep her guessing but feeling excitement.
  7. Don’t see them more than once a week. Less is often better. Mix it up and don’t see them the same day of each week every damn time (don’t let her think she’s your “Saturday girl” or whatever). Give her the gift of missing you between the amazing times together. Traveling helps with this, although if you let it go more than 2 weeks or so and you don’t have a strong bond you will lose some from your orbit.
  8. Don’t call or text her except to schedule the next date. I usually text and schedule dates with girls early in the week, and then confirm the day of. That’s it. She should be pinging you more than you ping her. If she’s the type to text you a lot take a day or two before replying once in a while. Your attention is a reward, dole it out randomly and sparingly and she will value it much more. There should be times when she doesn’t hear from you for 3-4 days or more.
  9. Never schedule the next date while you’re with her on the last one. End the date and leave her wondering when she’s going to see you again.
  10. Give her compliance tests that cause her to invest. Make her come to you. Make her bring a dessert when she comes over, or wear a particular thing or do her hair a certain way. Make her do whatever it is you want in the bedroom. Give her little homework assignments. Have her clean your apartment. Give her the gift of pleasing you. This is a foundation for the Game 3.0 above when you get girls to crave your pleasure.
  11. Every 1-2 months throw in a pinch of drama. This is advanced game and needs to be calibrated but if things get too comfortable the passion slides. I’ve had this come up naturally with certain events, but at other times I throw in a little as well to keep things spicey. Women crave and need a little drama just like they crave and need rough sex. You’re giving her a taste of what you want.
  12. There has to be times of genuine connection. It’s not worth bothering with the above if you don’t connect with the girl on a deeper level (for me it’s about 10% of girls, and then many of those I’ve dropped over time). This connection comes naturally so it isn’t so much something you do but something you both feel. But you can’t let it become oneitis or drop any of the above rules. Let her feel that this could grow, but then make her work for it and keep the rewards and progression random.

There’s more to it but I’m not going to put it all in a public blog. Welcome your thoughts and comments.

Having Kids on My Terms – Magnum’s 7 Point Checklist

It seems inevitable. With few exceptions when a player’s been in the game long enough, he starts thinking about settling down in some way or at least having kids.

Guys like Paul Janka have settled in to long term relationships to have kids, and even Krauser mentions in his latest video his goal now is to settle down and have a family.

Maybe there’s a male biological clock of some kind. Maybe the dopamine highs of fucking new girls fades, while at the same time players miss the oxytocin hits of pair-bonding. Or maybe there comes the inevitable realization that life is short and it’s time to leave a legacy of some kind.

Regardless the reason I believe it’s worth thinking about and planning for, so when the desire to have kids comes around you have a plan for how you’ll approach it.

The Red Quest has an excellent long post on his thoughts around having kids the red pill way. As a red pill player and father, I find he has a very good perspective and it’s got me thinking about the subject.

It’s clear that modern marriage in the West no longer works. With a marriage contract, you sign away the rights to have your assets if either of you decided to end it, with no upside.

If that’s not enough, my own experience from my 13 year marriage and the many relationships I’ve observed is that if you live together with a woman, her desire to have sex with you instinctively goes away after 2-3 years. In my experience as well this can be deferred if you don’t live with her and spend plenty of time apart.

I’m not yet at the point where I want to have kids. But one of my realizations on a recent acid trip is that I do want them at some point. I’d also say I have a keener understanding of my mortality than most do as well given my chronic pain and injuries that are a daily reminder I’m past my prime physically.

Modern marriage doesn’t work. Living together with a woman also doesn’t work, at least for me. So given all this, what’s the right structure in which to have a kid?

I believe there is no one answer and it depends on the man and what he wants. I don’t have it figured out, but my current thoughts are this:

  1. Don’t get legally married and have a co-parenting agreement in place.
  2. Keep your finances 100% separate, but agree on some sort of monthly budget you provide to her and the kid you have. Legally do your best to have good asset protection practices in place.
  3. Keep two residences. Have one for her and the kid, and a small separate apartment for yourself. Spend several nights a week apart.
  4. Keep the relationship expressly open and have at least one side casual side girl at all times.
  5. Have a signed, enforceable parenting agreement in place that you both sign. She needs to sign up to do the majority of the day to day chores of raising the kid.
  6. Ensure all kids are paternity tested. This means taking a DNA sample at the time of birth and not signing any birth certificate until the kid is proven to be mine.
  7. Choose a woman who has a family that will help in raising the kid.

This may be a tall order. It requires strong frame, good game, and a high degree of financial success.

It’s good to understand that child support is much cheaper in Europe than the US as well.

But if you’re in your late 30’s / early 40’s and have dated a lot of women, you should have the right frame and enough financial success to pull this off.

I’m 44 and yet still not in a hurry. We’ll see what the future holds. But welcome your comments. It’s good to have a plan ready for when the time comes.

BDSM Experiences and Game

Variety and excitement go a long way for not only making life more interesting, but also to help build bonds with the girls you like in your life and keep them hooked on you.  It’s those little hits of dopamine you and her get, at random, that builds the bond. 

I see this as part of the larger theme of “push/pull” in game.  At the relationship level, push/pull shows up as having intense and exciting time together, and then spending time apart (a week or more) and let the “missing you” feelings build.  The push/pull “dance” in this way keeps relationships exciting without going stale.

With all that said experimentation continues to be the theme of both my life and my ongoing game.  I continue to have new things that interest me to include not only in my life, but to share it with key regular girls of mine and keep the intensity going. 

One focus area I’ve been exploring more is BDSM.  I see dominance and Variety as two of the key aspects of sex game (emotional connection and being present in the moment are the other two I focus on). 

BDSM provides both tools for variety and direct means to be highly dominant in the bedroom in ways few men truly understand.  But women love it. When doing simple things like using a bit of rope to tie them up, I’ve heard girls say countless times, “nobody’s ever done that to me before”. 

Throwing these basic BDSM elements into your sex game, but never doing it the same way twice, keeps the excitement alive for both of you while giving her experiences and memories she can’t get elsewhere.

As I’ve continued to look for new ways to bring elements of BDSM that I actually enjoy into my game.  These week I tried two things.  The first was taking artsy girl to a BDSM dungeon.  The second was taking a BDSM ropes class.  The dungeon was a bust but the ropes have been great.  Let me share why.

BDSM clubs differ from the sex clubs like Red Quest writes about in that the focus at these places are BDSM “scenes” at various stations.  Sex does happen in some of these scenes, but the majority are about other acts such as flogging, bondage, spanking, needle play, and pretty much anything else you might want to do. 

This visit was the first for both artsy girl and me, and we went with the expectation that we would just watch and not participate.  I was hoping at least to get ideas or see techniques that I could learn from and bring into the portfolio of things I enjoy doing at home.  

Unfortunately as you might expect the majority of the 150 attendees or so were unattractive.  What was especially striking was that I was the only man there over 6 feet tall.  That’s really rare in a group that size and tells me there is some selection bias involved.  

The other disappointment was that the scenes were nothing special.  Yes there was a couple having doggy style sex on one of the tables, and there were women in other harnesses submitting to men using hands and vibrators on them.  But these acts were not impressive.  And the majority of scenes were actually fairly tame things like rope bondage with intricate knots and suspension, or very mild flogging that really equates more to a kind of sensual massage. 

My take way from the above is that the real kick for these BDSM dungeons is the exhibitionism. 

Nothing wrong with that, but personally if the mood strikes me I’d rather be an exhibitionist at a proper sex club or party with attractive people around, or by sneaking in public sex on a rooftop or restaurant bathroom or the like (I highly recommend men doing this on the sly public sex on dates with your regulars).

It was good to check it out and have the experience, as well as to confirm though that I’m already doing as much as people who’ve been in the BDSM “community” for decades.

The other thing I explored this week on the BDSM theme was a rope tying class.  This is where “riggers” (people who enjoy tying up partners) go to share and teach techniques. 

I’ve found pretty much all women enjoy being tied up, and for a long time I’ve had a set of spread-eagle ties under my mattress so I can tie girls down to my mattress by their wrists/ankles when the mood strikes me.  I’ve actually had girls I’m seeing complain, “you haven’t tied me up in a while” .

But I found going to the class and learning a few basic knots was not only fun but went a long way.  Over the weekend as I used them with two of my regular girls they enjoyed the additional skill and art to what I was able to do.  I could also see them wonder where the hell I learned that, and keeping that sort of mystery adds fuel to your game.  I enjoyed it.

Crash Restraint is a great resource for all things rope bondage, and he even has a free online course step by step where you can learn the basics at your pace at home.

I plan to keep learning more techniques like rope bondage.  It keeps things interesting, and adds new dimensions to the already strong variety in my game. 

And it’s a lot of fun.

Relationships on My Terms

One of my big focus areas these past three years has been harem building and retention.  It’s a type of pimp game in that you bring the girl into your orbit, consciously build her attachment to you, and shape her into what you want her to be. 

For me this is a sweet spot in the “r/K” or “lover/provider” spectrum. You build a connection with the girls in your rotation, often over months and sometimes years, but you have your freedom to be with other women as you please.

Bringing a girl into your rotation is like training a puppy, you reward and punish behaviors to enforce behavior. You lead her through a range of experiences, most importantly good sex, to get her hooked. It’s also important that your frame is 100% consistent with that of being a lover and you don’t slide into “boyfriend” behaviors or show signs of weakness.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is pimp.jpg
Close…but I’m not one to wear hats

Iceberg slim’s autobiography has good examples, especially the advice he gets from the experienced pimp named Sweet.  And women do their own competing form instinctively as the process of “Betacization” As a man you have to be leading with your own relationship game or you will instead fall into the woman’s frame. 

“A good pimp is always really alone. You gotta always be a puzzle, a mystery to them. That’s how you hold a whore. Don’t get sour. Tell them something new and confusing every day. You can hold ’em as long as you can do it.”

“A pimp is the loneliest bastard on Earth. He’s gotta know his whores. He can’t let them know him. He’s gotta be God all the way.”

Sweet, from Iceberg Slim’s “Pimp”

These are the best quotes from that book and there’s a lot of game in this. To keep regular girls with who know you’re sleeping with other girls and get zero drama, you’ve got to have a 100% strong frame. You’ve got to be mysterious. You only see them once a week or less. You only text 1-2 times a week. And when you see them you fuck them good.

But to really convert her, you give her a range of emotions. You introduce her to new experiences inside and outside of the bedroom. You use BDSM and dirty talk to spike her emotions and connect with you. Occasionally you introduce a bit of controlled drama to give her the rollercoaster of emotions. You continue to escalate the compliance ladder with her inside and outside the bedroom to ensure she’s fully invested. Conversion is an art.

Converting a girl to you can be dark or light depending on what you want to do, which is why it’s rarely talked about.  This same process could be used to pimp out certain girls like in the book or to get yourself a sugarmama, but I’ve focused on it as way to build relationships on my terms. Creating wonderful, concurrent open relationships and life experiences with a variety of girls who’s company I enjoy.

Women get their agency through men, and they look for the right man to make the experiences and life that they want.  Myself, I look for girls who want to this experience. To discover themselves and the world, sexually and otherwise.  I’m the experienced man of the world who shows them the way. 

I’ve enjoyed seeing how girls blossom into what I want them to be all the while they enjoy the experience.  This is the same plot-line of romance novels, although with the fantasy in the end that the heroine wins the player over exclusively.  Women want you to be the man.  To lead.  To be “daddy”.  

As a man you have to know how to lead them through this nature to create something positive for both of you.  This is the “dance” I’ve alluded to in the past. 

The girl I call “Little me” ghost wrote an essay about me and told me about it so I could find it (she ghost wrote it via the author who’s actually pictured, Alexandria Brown, who is not Little Me).  It’s as good an example of how a woman truly wants to feel – the unsure excitement of whether or not she can win over a high value man:

I like complicated. I like dark. I like mysteries that need unraveling. I like you. I like everything you bring to the table even though all you can give me is a few late nights and never any early mornings. I like not knowing where this is going and if I’m ever going to see you again. I’m addicted to the rush that comes along with getting you every once in a while. It excites me.


“Little Me” writing about yours truly makes her feel.  Do read the whole thing.

Don’t be fooled.  This turmoil is what a woman truly wants.  Sexually I’ve seen how much women crave being dominated and submitting to a worthy man.  It’s no different emotionally.  But it has to be with the right balance.

These ongoing non-monogamous mini relationships have been the highlight of my life in game.  Far more than crazy game stories on how I managed to close a girl or one night stands.  I see this as my sweet spot. 

Both the girl and I get great sex, positive experiences, and good memories.  I get the freedom and variety I need as a man, but also gives me an outlet for the “affection addiction” that causes so many players to retire from the game.  

After this recent three week trip to New York I’m wondering if my desire to focus on this aspect of game came from the fact that SF is such a poor dating market for men.  It can take weeks for me to find girls who fit the bill above, and so when I do I want to ensure I manage the (open) relationship well. 

It may be tempting to go more “r” selected on the spectrum and just do one night stands when I move to NY.  But I don’t see myself going away from keeping 2-3 regular girls in my life (even while I enjoy regularly finding sport fucks on the side). 

I’m glad I spent the time in SF that I did. I don’t think it’s likely I’d have consciously focused on this skillset if I’d been in an easy city like NY.  

These have been some of the most fulfilling relationships I’ve ever had, even as these women come and go from my life over time.