Book Review: Girl Junkie

I’ve been following Krauser’s blog since 2009 or so, after Roissy first linked to it many years ago.  I’m sure most of my readers know and respect him.  He’s not only one of the best writers in game, but he also helped formalize the London daygame model which is the framework many of us use. 

I’ve learned a lot by reading Krauser over the years, and I’ve enjoyed reading all four of his memoir volumes.  Krauser highlighting up and coming daygame bloggers is also the reason I was able to connect with Nash at Days of Game, and I’m grateful for that as well.

So naturally I was looking forward to reading the 5th installment of his series, “Girl Junkie” which covers his exploits in 2015. 

Worth a read…

Having followed his blog all these years Krauser’s memoirs have been especially interesting because the give background and context to many of the stories he’s posted there. 

Each volume has delivered on its promise:  well told interesting stories that both entertain as well as deliver game tidbits and perspective by example. 

With each volume I find myself underling certain ideas and passages to bring into my own game toolkit.  

Girl Junkie continues with this streak and doesn’t disappoint. 

Having read the other four volumes over the last four years or so, it’s difficult to remember the differences between the books.  They’re all consistent Krauser.  With Girl Junkie what stands out to me as a long time Krauser reader is he has matured. 

There is less preening.  Even though Girl Junkie covers the most recent year of the five volumes, where Krauser’s game had continued to improve, in many ways he’s more humble in this book and from my read it seems to have a greater balances of both the frustrations and successes.  We all learn more from our failures and this makes for a more human and interesting read.

Krauser also raises some interesting questions on the players journey and whether it’s possible to go too far.  In the year of game he covers in this book he is all about fast escalation and the fast pull, often just for the sake of the dopamine rush it provides.  He knowingly burns a lot of leads he might have closed otherwise because he can’t be bothered to take more time on.  Most guys never get to this point, but it is a pitfall for long term players. 

He hints in the end at further changes, and I look forward to seeing if he explores this further.

Some of my favorite quotes of the book include:

  • “So long as you aren’t naive enough to invest emotions into your dealing with them, sluts are a lot of fun.  They can be amongst the most honest and direct girls you ever meet; so long as you’re the casual sex guy and not a potential husband.”
  • Specific examples of how he visualizes sexual scenes with girls on the street to increase his sexual intent as he goes to approach, improving results.
  • “Once you understand the concept of ‘frame’, you understand its power.  If you can direct your mind with the correct metaphors, that imagery will fill in all the blanks for you and power you through self-doubt.”
  • “We aren’t stealing anything (from the girl).  It’s the opposite, we are building up something special and offering girls an opportunity.”
  • Details of what caused the fall out between Krauser and Torero, from Krauser’s perspective.
  • Plenty of good examples of lines and tactics with girls.
  • Plenty of logistical details for Krakow, Warsaw, Prague, and Kiev for anyone who ever plans to game those cities.
  • “I believe a man shouldn’t burden others with his problems.  Part of being a man is carrying weight on your own shoulders.  It can be a tightrope with girls, to share enough of your inner world that they feel connection but to close off those insecurities and frustrations that would undermine her assessment of your confidence.”
  • “Her first response (or lack thereof) is the strongest single signal of how likely she is to fuck.” (referring to her first text response after the street number close).
  • “Something funny just occurred to me,” I said mid-way through a script that had actually occurred to me two years ago and had been carefully refined through practice ever since.  “isn’t it interesting that nobody even knows we met?  It’s like, everything we say and do is one big secret.”
  • “being a girl, she was fascinated by the sudden conviction with which I delivered the lecture.  I saw her eyes sparkle in sexual attraction.”
  • “Any time a girl chases you let her come.  Don’t snatch the reins and start leading.”

As the entertainment industry has become increasingly politically correct, I find there are less and less movies and books that I can actually enjoy.  They just don’t match reality. 

For a man that understands how the world works Krauser’s memoirs are a refreshing exception.  I enjoy the writing as entertainment, and there are plenty of golden nuggets of game that I took notes on as well to refine what I do.

Highly recommended.

BDSM Experiences and Game

Variety and excitement go a long way for not only making life more interesting, but also to help build bonds with the girls you like in your life and keep them hooked on you.  It’s those little hits of dopamine you and her get, at random, that builds the bond. 

I see this as part of the larger theme of “push/pull” in game.  At the relationship level, push/pull shows up as having intense and exciting time together, and then spending time apart (a week or more) and let the “missing you” feelings build.  The push/pull “dance” in this way keeps relationships exciting without going stale.

With all that said experimentation continues to be the theme of both my life and my ongoing game.  I continue to have new things that interest me to include not only in my life, but to share it with key regular girls of mine and keep the intensity going. 

One focus area I’ve been exploring more is BDSM.  I see dominance and Variety as two of the key aspects of sex game (emotional connection and being present in the moment are the other two I focus on). 

BDSM provides both tools for variety and direct means to be highly dominant in the bedroom in ways few men truly understand.  But women love it. When doing simple things like using a bit of rope to tie them up, I’ve heard girls say countless times, “nobody’s ever done that to me before”. 

Throwing these basic BDSM elements into your sex game, but never doing it the same way twice, keeps the excitement alive for both of you while giving her experiences and memories she can’t get elsewhere.

As I’ve continued to look for new ways to bring elements of BDSM that I actually enjoy into my game.  These week I tried two things.  The first was taking artsy girl to a BDSM dungeon.  The second was taking a BDSM ropes class.  The dungeon was a bust but the ropes have been great.  Let me share why.

BDSM clubs differ from the sex clubs like Red Quest writes about in that the focus at these places are BDSM “scenes” at various stations.  Sex does happen in some of these scenes, but the majority are about other acts such as flogging, bondage, spanking, needle play, and pretty much anything else you might want to do. 

This visit was the first for both artsy girl and me, and we went with the expectation that we would just watch and not participate.  I was hoping at least to get ideas or see techniques that I could learn from and bring into the portfolio of things I enjoy doing at home.  

Unfortunately as you might expect the majority of the 150 attendees or so were unattractive.  What was especially striking was that I was the only man there over 6 feet tall.  That’s really rare in a group that size and tells me there is some selection bias involved.  

The other disappointment was that the scenes were nothing special.  Yes there was a couple having doggy style sex on one of the tables, and there were women in other harnesses submitting to men using hands and vibrators on them.  But these acts were not impressive.  And the majority of scenes were actually fairly tame things like rope bondage with intricate knots and suspension, or very mild flogging that really equates more to a kind of sensual massage. 

My take way from the above is that the real kick for these BDSM dungeons is the exhibitionism. 

Nothing wrong with that, but personally if the mood strikes me I’d rather be an exhibitionist at a proper sex club or party with attractive people around, or by sneaking in public sex on a rooftop or restaurant bathroom or the like (I highly recommend men doing this on the sly public sex on dates with your regulars).

It was good to check it out and have the experience, as well as to confirm though that I’m already doing as much as people who’ve been in the BDSM “community” for decades.

The other thing I explored this week on the BDSM theme was a rope tying class.  This is where “riggers” (people who enjoy tying up partners) go to share and teach techniques. 

I’ve found pretty much all women enjoy being tied up, and for a long time I’ve had a set of spread-eagle ties under my mattress so I can tie girls down to my mattress by their wrists/ankles when the mood strikes me.  I’ve actually had girls I’m seeing complain, “you haven’t tied me up in a while” .

But I found going to the class and learning a few basic knots was not only fun but went a long way.  Over the weekend as I used them with two of my regular girls they enjoyed the additional skill and art to what I was able to do.  I could also see them wonder where the hell I learned that, and keeping that sort of mystery adds fuel to your game.  I enjoyed it.

Crash Restraint is a great resource for all things rope bondage, and he even has a free online course step by step where you can learn the basics at your pace at home.

I plan to keep learning more techniques like rope bondage.  It keeps things interesting, and adds new dimensions to the already strong variety in my game. 

And it’s a lot of fun.

Book Review: Sex Clubs, Non-monogamy, and Game by the Red Quest

I had the privilege of being one of the men that the Red Quest asked to provide input on the manuscript for his book, “Sex Clubs, Non-Monogamy, and Game“.  He’s finished the book in part with my input and is now giving the book away for free (downloadable at the link).

Worthwhile read

It’s a unique book based on his years of experience in the sex club / swinger scene in his city.  In the first half of the book he covers why a man would want to include sex clubs as part of his game, and in the second half of the book he shares lots of specific examples from his own dating life.  

Personally I haven’t had direct experience with sex clubs.  I’ve had FFM threesomes, and I once took a 22 year old I was dating to a sex club here in San Francisco.  But we left after 10 minutes, the club was slow and frankly we didn’t like the looks of anyone else there.  So I was curious to read Red Quest’s take on this scene and how to integrate it into non-monogamous relationship management.

As I’ve written about here and here, it’s your role as a man to lead your woman.  Lead her experience and take her to places she’s never been before.  Doing this right I’ve been able to keep the attractive women I want in my life, without having to promise monogamy.  Women want to be lead by an exciting lover as a means for them to experience the world.  And I can see from “Sex Clubs, Non-Monogamy, and Game” that sex clubs could be part of your larger game in doing this leading…if you had the skills and inclination.

After reading this book, here are the positives I see for bringing your girls to sex clubs:

  • you frame yourself as top tier lover because you’ve opened her to experiences she’s only fantasized about but would never make happen on her own
  • her attraction for you can increase as she watches you fuck other girls (preselection at its most primal)
  • you can leverage her for variety both by swapping her with other couples and also having her recruit other girls for you
  • the sex club scene in your city becomes a long term “ecosystem” / social circle you can leverage for constantly finding new partners – if you have the social savvy and sex skills to be a top-tier guy in the sex club scene in your city

Here are the downsides I see:

  • I doubt most guys can pull this off – this is advanced level game and your looks, game, and sex skills need to be on point.  You need a strong frame and ability to lead
  • other guys will try and poach your girl
  • you have to manage not just your relationship with the girl you bring but your relationship with the other couples you play with
  • most guys won’t enjoy watching “their” girl fuck other guys…even if it means they get to fuck other girls at the same time
  • From my very limited experience in San Francisco I’m not convinced there are many attractive women in the sex club scene (I’m picky and prefer petite college aged girls)

I think this is a worthwhile read to any one who’s had some curiosity about the sex club world.  There’s value here in reading about Red Quest’s advanced level game in action, even if all you’re looking to do is merge girls you’re already dating into a FFM threesome with you. 

Read it and decide for yourself if it’s a world you want to enter.  

Yoni Balls

I highly recommend Yoni Balls to teach your women to be more orgasmic.  Give them as a gift to any woman you’re dating.  All she has to do is wear the one that fits her like a tampon as she goes about her day.  Best if she works her way down to smaller ones as she goes.  It works by automatically strengthening her pelvic floor muscles.  If she sticks with this over a period of a few weeks to months on a daily basis she has a good chance of becoming multi-orgasmic.

One of the girls I’m seeing who I call “Little Me” tried them on the recommendation of one of her fellow yoga instructors.  She went from having 1-2 orgasms every time we had sex to having 5-10 every time.  That means cumming every few minutes while we fuck.  She can now have multiple in a row as well.  It’s amazing.

I gave these as gifts to two other girls I’ve been seeing regularly.  I enjoy being the one to lead them through experiencing the world in new ways and opening up their sexuality to what is possible for them.  This is the right leading frame for male / female polarity in a relationship.