Starting the Year with a Bang (Kuala Lumpur 2019 Lay Report)

My last day in Kuala Lumpur and I scheduled my first date for my 2 day stay here in the afternoon.  The texting was good after I demonstrated my frame to her, and she agreed to meet me at my hotel for a drink at 4pm in the afternoon.  Knowing this was my last day in town I had to go for the first date lay, but I had a feel that this 21 year old was promising from the texting.  I had teased her my saying she has to come with her biggest smile, and she texted me the next day to show me a screenshot of how she put that in her reminders on her phone (“come with a big smile”).  Game on.

We met in the lobby and I led her to the bar.  She ordered a gin and tonic while I had my normal sparkling water since I prefer not to drink alcohol.  More good signs.  She was nervous in a good way and I fractionated right away between verbal escalations (“what type of guys do you like?”, “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”, and “what do you like about me?”) and basic get to know you talk.  All the while I also escalated the kino, touching the ring on her hand, touching her earlobe as I noticed out loud she had no earring, and holding her hand to compare how big mine is relative to hers.  

She gave me a great opening to set the secret society tone in saying how everyone thought she was innocent when she’s not, and I used the opportunity to talk about how I don’t like the double standard that gets applied to women, where they have to pretend to be good girls and not sexual beings, and that no one should be judged for having sex as it’s a health part of life and we are all sexual people.   I truly believe this, and I find this is a key message to convey on every first date and goes a long way in making a girl comfortable in fucking you if the attraction is also there.  

After about 45 minutes as she finished most of her drink, I suggested that before she heads out that she try some of the nice dark chocolate I have in my room.  “OK” she chirped happily, and up we went.  I asked her to take off her shoes and left her alone a few minutes as I used the restroom, and found her standing by the window admiring the city view when I came out.  Standing beside her we talked about the view and how short she is to me (150cm to my 191cm), so she stood on the low window still so we were standing face to face, and we started to kiss.  It was so on the whole time I slowed things down just a tad to ensure she had enough foreplay and to also pre-empt any ASD that might pop up.  None ever did.  With ten minutes of making out she was on her knees sucking my dick and then onto the bed to fuck like animals.

A very submissive girl.  They seem to know how to find me.  She later said she could just tell I was dominant from the start. I used my belt to tie her up as I did her doggy, making her say how she’s my little slut as I fucked her hard (I made her pussy bleed onto the sheets and she wasn’t on her period).  I came looking straight in her eyes.  It was a great first new girl of the year and a good welcome to Malaysia.  We cuddled a bit afterwards and she kept foundling my cock, and in about 20 minutes we went again for round 2.  She was too sore to fuck again but gladly volunteered to suck me off and put a lot of heart in to it.  Submissive girls love to please.

We didn’t have any chocolate until afterwards when I walked her down to her car with her wearing her cute little sun dress that she came in.  It was a sweet ending to a very nice afternoon.  The entire date end to end was about two and a half hours.  She was off to dinner with family and drinks with friends that night.  We’ll likely never see each other again.

This is the secret society and how most girls like to be at least for one phase of their young adult lives.  Consequence free sex with a man who won’t judge them and who they can tell can deliver the goods.   Be that man.

My 2018 Year in Game Review

I’m relaxing here in my Bangkok apartment after getting three new notches in the last week.  I’ve got more leads for this trip but I’m not pursuing them hard.  I’ve opted to have miss Singapore, one of my regulars, come to town for my last few days to ring in the new year with me.

In many ways this is a good summary of my 2018 with women.  At 44 years old I’m having as much sex as I’ve ever had in my life, but compared to 2016 and 2017 it’s been more focused on a handful of regulars that I like, and less on new girls. 

For the most part I think I’ve got the balance right.  I continue to wonder if I can get better quality, as I usually do when I travel out of San Francisco.  And I’ve also begun to wonder, “what comes next?”  Do I continue this lifestyle indefinitely, I will I eventually want kids with a woman?

2017 was a banner year for me in game when my process finally came together.  I started out 2017 losing one of my favorite girls of all time because I accidentally scheduled a date with her best friend, and so I had to start the year building a rotation from scratch and also frankly also deal with the suck of losing a girl that I had such a strong connection with. 

By the end of the year I’ve developed a template for what I look for:  young, cute, a bit of an outsider, and wanting to explore the world.   In this template I’m the man this lucky girls gets to explore the big world with.  It’s the right dynamic for me, and I’ve gotten good at finding the right sort of girls and leading them down this path.  

Here are my stats and highlights from 2017:

  • 79 first dates (mostly from online dating)
  • 41 (52%) of these I chose not to pursue
  • 12 (15%) I pursued but couldn’t close
  • 26 (33%) I closed on the 1st date (4), 2nd date (20) or 3rd date (2)
  • Average age of a new girl was 23 (I turned 43 in mid 2017)
  • In my average month I slept with 5 different girls
  • I also had 3 carryover girls from 2016
  • I had sex 188 times in total, 63% was with four girls

Highlights included:

  • dating a former miss Ukraine I met from nightgame (didn’t close her) while out partying with CMQ and Goldmund
  • the 19 year old Singaporean track runner
  • the 19 year old Stanford student
  • starting things off with “Little me” (18 when we met) who I’m still seeing regularly and is my current favorite
  • Trips to Miami, Tokyo, NYC, Singapore, and Vietnam

With that background here are my stats and highlights form 2018:

  • 78 first dates (again mostly online dating)
  • 44 (56%) of these I chose not to pursue
  • 15 (19%) I pursued but couldn’t close
  • 18 (24%) I closed on the 1st date (3), 2nd date (13), or 3rd date (2)
  • 1 (1% – Miss Puffy Jacket) are still in play as of this writing
  • Average age of a new girl was 22 (I turned 44 in mid 2018)
  • In my average month I slept with 4 different girls
  • I also had 4 carryover girls from 2017
  • I had sex 192 times in total, 66% was with three girls

Highlights included

So maybe I’ve hit a plateau in 2018, or maybe having 3 of my 10 all time favorites in my regular rotation at once slowed me down in terms of pursuing new girls.  I think I’ve gotten pickier, and have chosen not to pursue marginal girls that I would have in the past just to get the notch.  Instead I had my regular girls and new girls came from trips or on occasion when I found one to my liking or felt like some variety.

In addition for the Hong Kong, Singapore, and now for part of the Bangkok trip I’ve chosen to see miss Singapore instead of pursue new girls the whole time (I still closed a few girls on these trips).  I had other work trips to several other cities where I didn’t game or fuck that entire trip, and I think that slowed down the notch rate as well.

Could I get better results from daygame?  Maybe in another city, but I find it hugely time consuming.  I’ve done 25 approaches from it this year and have one open lead back home from it that I may still close.

What I am most happy about is the stability I have with my three regulars.  Close connections with each in their own unique way, and all three know the deal and that I see other girls.  They are 20, 21, and 29 respectively.   All have known my age from the start and all also know that I see other girls. I’ve had no drama with any of them, which again tells me my frame is strong and I’ve internalized the skills of converting girls to me and keeping them happy in my rotation.  

2019 for me will be about deciding if I want to stay in San Francisco or move to another city, and also pursue other goals besides new women.

Relationships are like Salsa Dancing

Relationships are like salsa dancing.  As the man you have to lead, but it’s a partnership between the both of you.  It also take much longer for a man to learn salsa than a woman, just like relationships.  But we have no choice but to do it.

The first time I went salsa dancing was on a 2nd date with a very cute Czech girl.  We got a little drunk, and she said she wanted to salsa (she was good).  In my inexperience I said “sure”.  When in doubt I say “yes”, but in retrospect I should have avoided putting myself into a situation where I was a beginning in front of a girl I was interested in.

At the club I didn’t have any inhibitions and did my best to lead by watching the other couples.  If you’ve never danced salsa, the man leads and decides every twirl and step.  He completely controls the woman’s experiences.  She gets to twirl around and he looks like h’s just doing a few steps, but the realty is she follows his movements and interpretation of the music completely.  The entire quality of her experience is on him.  It takes years for a man to get good, in part because even an experienced woman can’t teach him.  Whereas a woman can learn in a few sessions because she simply needs to respond to her partner.

So back to my salsa date, I did a fair job faking it for a man who had never even seen salsa dancing before.  but eventually she craved the real thing and I let her dance with a short old guy in his 60’s.  What a difference it was, and she loved it.  Not surprisingly, I never did sleep with her.  But I saw first hand how dating needs to be.  We as men must lead and take the time to learn how to lead right.  We can only learn through experience with some help from other men.  It’s an art just like dancing.  Maybe over time I’ll share how I’ve learned to do it right.  

A Lesson in Frame

Andrew Tate gets it right by hard-nexting his girl after she shit-talked him and his brother:

As a man you need to define clear boundaries with your women and you need to enforce them. Consistently. She will test them. She needs to feel that you will enforce them. It makes her feel safe and it’s an opportunity for her to “rub up against your internal strength” like a cat might rub up against your leg.

Withdrawing attention for a few moments, days, or permanently – depending on the infraction – is the best tool we as men have to enforce our boundaries and demonstrate our leadership to our women. It’s the prime example of leading in the daughter / daddy dynamic.

I see men fall down on this all the time. You have to enforce boundaries. And you have to be willing to leave your women at any time if she crosses the line.

Keep your game sharp so you always have options, and keep your frame sharp so you always enforce your boundaries.