Magnum's Most Popular Posts of 2019

As I shared in my recent post on fun memories, this blog is officially a year old.

Hard to believe I managed 36 posts in the space of a year. Clearly I had more to say than I thought.

With no further ado here are the top posts for 2019:

  1. Magnum’s first date model. I wrote this post at Nash’s request and it remains a hot topic. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback that this model has helped a lot of men this year. Glad I could help.
  2. The Deepest Red Pill was a summary of my musings on the dark pill, in particular understanding that all relationships have an end date. Clearly I was a bit somber this winter. The positive flip side of this red pill view is that a man can absolutely have relationships on his terms. To me this makes it all worth while.
  3. My reading list of the 15 Best Books for Game came in at number three. To paraphrase Newton, “if I’ve seen further it’s because I’ve stood on the shoulders of giants.”
  4. My post that a man has to be “daddy” to his women was the fourth most popular post of the year. Failing to do this right is the number one cause of relationship issues for men.
  5. And rounding out the top five is my post on How to Minimize Flaking. Sigh. If only there were a way to minimize flakes to zero.

I view game as a “sales funnel.” From your value as the “product” to the market you choose (type of girl and the city) to your approach (lead generation), texting (lead nurturing), first date, and close.

It seems the biggest interest out there is on the front end of the “funnel” in the dating process. I suspect this is because every man in the game encounters problems there, well before encountering challenges with retention or God forbid thinking about having kids in a red pill way.

I’ll keep that in mind for future posts.

And as always would welcome any topic requests you may have.

– Magnum

2019 Year In Review – How to Make Sure You're Having Fun in Your Life

Hard to believe but this New Year’s marks the one year anniversary of this blog. I had a few hours of downtown during the heat of each day while I was adventuring in Bangkok and at Red Quest’s suggestion I took the opportunity to put a few thoughts on there.

I never expected it to be more than a place to share thoughts with just a small circle of guys I know, but without trying to this blog has grown to about 1,000 unique visitors per month. I’m grateful for your interest.

One of the benefits to having this blog is that it helps me capture my thoughts and memories before they fade away off into the ether. It’s a funny thing how the human brain perceives time.

If you do the same thing each day, go to the same place, and spend time with the same people, the years will fly by and you’ll look back at your life a decade later and wonder where the time went.

But instead if you are constantly doing new things, spending time in new places, making new experience, and building relationships with new people, time will actually appear to slow down…in a good way.

This has absolutely been my experience over the past six years since my divorce. I’ve done more things, lived in more places, had more experiences, made more memories, and fucked way more girls than I did in the previous 15 years.

And that’s made the experience of my life seem longer, with more positive experiences in just a few years than many have in a lifetime.

This brings me to a key annual exercise I took from Good Looking Loser. Each year on new year’s I take a bit of time to list out all of the positive, fun memories I’ve had from the prior year.

I make myself do this off the top of my head, no looking at pictures or calendars or notes. Once I’ve drained my brain of everything I can think of I count up the number of memories as a indicator to myself to see if I’m living right.

My own personal goal is to have at least 52 a year…an average of at least one per week. I’m happy to say I’ve easily beat this each year I’ve tried this exercise.

It’s important as a man to not just achieve your goals but also take the time to live your life and make memories. The time goes by much too quickly to not be doing this.

Give it a try and see for yourself.

I’ve listed a few of my fun experiences in 2019 in past posts including:

The more personal experiences I don’t share on this blog, but a few key highlights that I haven’t written about included:

  • Spending a month living in Greece working through a difficult side project of mine.
  • A short weekend solo daygame trip to Belgrade.
  • Going deep into a BDSM experience with my of my regulars.
  • Bringing a girl I dated two years ago when she was 18 back into my rotation this fall. It’s been better the second time around as she’s matured into a nice sweet spot (it helps that she looks like one of my favorite porn stars).
  • An extended scuba diving trip to Kona.
  • Organizing and enjoying a set of great dinners conversations with a solid group of guys over the course of the year including Nash, Runner, Red Quest, J, Long Burn da Fire, Highgame, Breeze, and Mr V.
  • The online connections I’ve made as well with Red Pill Dad, Red CoCo, and Yoylo.
  • Road trip to Santa Cruz with Little Me including sneaking in multiple opportunities for public sex quickies.

Life is short. Make the most of it my friends.

Magnum's Guide to Nutrition (with 10 simple rules)

Magnum’s guide to nutrition with 10 simple rules

With the 2020 new year upon us I’m sure a lot of folks out there will be making resolutions. And with the over-eating and indulgence of Christmas many will now want to focus on their fitness.

Make no mistake, looking lean and fit will help your game. Getting your body fat to at least the 15-17% range will improve your jawline and likely improve your testosterone levels as well.

This helps you whether you’re doing direct approach or for your pictures in online game. All things being equal you will do better when you look your best for your age and genetics. This goes double if you’re like me and prefer to date women half your age.

One thing I’m often asked is how do I keep lean and fit despite being in my mid 40’s. Staying lean and fit gets harder as you get older, and I’m often told I look 5-10 years younger than my age. Nash likes to say I look like a “retied super hero” which I take as big a compliment that I look my best given my age.

In the end 80% of the battle is nutrition as opposed to working out. It took me a long time to learn this. I have several long term sports injuries from a life time of contact and distance sports that have limited my exercise to just daily walks and upper body weight lifting twice a week.

But the good news is these injuries forced me to do the reading and consult with nutritional experts to learn what works. It comes down to nutrition.

And I’m going to break down what I’ve learned for you lucky bastards into a few key rules anyone with discipline can follow.

Magnum’s Nutrition Rules for Getting and Staying Lean:

  1. Practice intermittent fasting. The easiest method I’ve found is the 16:8 method, which means you fast for 16 hours each day and eat all of your meals within an 8 hour period. For most this means skipping breakfast. Coffee or tea are OK in the morning as long as you take them black.
  2. Don’t snack. If you’re practicing the 16:8 you should be eating two solid meals – lunch and dinner and that’s about it.
  3. You don’t have to do a full keto diet, but you should avoid any and all carbs that aren’t fruits or vegetables. This means you will no longer consume:
    1. Alcohol
    2. Rice
    3. Bread
    4. Dessert
    5. Dairy
    6. Fast food
    7. Juices
  4. If you do want to do keto, you’ll need to ensure your net carbs (net carbs = total grams of carbs consumed minus grams of fiber) are less than 30 a day. This can be a bit extreme and I’d recommend working with a knowledgeable nutritionist if you plan to do this to keep an eye on your bloodwork. When I developed these rules I worked with Paul Burgess at Functional Nutrition, and he’s worth the money if you can afford a coach.
  5. Your diet is going to focus on eating meat and vegetables. You’ll want to eat enough meat with your two main meals of the day so that you’re consuming about 0.8g to 1 g of protein for every pound you have of lean body weight. I’m 6’3″ and 190 pounds, so I target 155 to 190 grams of protein a day. If you’re eating this much protein trust me you will not feel hungry on this diet.
  6. I’d recommend avoiding protein powders, most are made from whey protein which is dairy – and dairy is inflammatory.
  7. Besides the protein component, the rest of your meals will be a big assortment of vegetables. It’s almost impossible to eat too many vegetables. Do your best to make sure you mix up the kind of vegetables you eat. One method is to get a variety of colors with every meal. This ensures you’re getting a wide variety of healthy nutrients as well.
  8. Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night.
  9. Lift weights 2-3 times a week. A friend of mine has written an excellent online guide to this.
  10. No matter how well you eat it’s difficult to get enough of certain key nutrients. They just aren’t in our foods in high enough levels. I follow a extensive daily supplement routine, but here is the short list of key supplements that most westerners are not getting enough of:
    1. Fish oil. You want to ensure your omega 3 fat intake exceeds that of your omega 6 fat intake. Few can achieve this without supplementation. Liquid fish oil is absorbed much better than capsules, the link takes you to the brand I personally use.
    2. Zinc. This is essential to testosterone production and very tough to get enough through diet.
    3. Magnesium. Another essential mineral for testosterone production that you can’t get enough of through diet. This has the added benefit of helping to relax sore muscles and help with sleep as well.
    4. Vitamin D. One of the cheapest supplements there is and again almost impossible to get enough through diet alone. Like fish oil, liquid vitamin D is absorbed better by your body so that’s what I recommend.

I can hear it already . Most will complain that this is too strict, especially the not drinking any alcohol part.

My response is just try it for a month without deviation. You will see the results and then will want to keep going if you care about being lean.

Good nutrition is a lifestyle not a one time thing. To get the results of being lean you need to stick with it every day.

I provided this set of rules to a co-worker of mine in his 40’s, and he lost 40 pounds in 9 months. The results will speak for themselves. You will be leaner, have more energy, and improve your testosterone levels as well.

Here’s a screenshot of my last testosterone lab results to show you what I mean. I’m in my mid 40’s, follow the above rules, but do not take any hormone therapies or other medications:

Note my levels were about half of this 6 years ago when I exercised more but didn’t follow the above diet and supplementation routine.

If you’re looking for a good book to help you with this, I recommend “Wired to Eat” by Robb Wolf who popularized the paleo diet. It has all the science to support the above, plus a ton of recipes for meals.

Finally I’ll have to caveat this post by saying I’m not a healthcare practitioner or nutritionist. I’m simply sharing what has worked very well for me. Your results may vary. But I hope this helps those of you with the interest and discipline to stick with it.

How to Minimize Flaking in Your Dating Life…and Not Let Flakes Drive You Absolutely Insane

Flakes. I can’t think of another topic that gets men more upset when it comes to dating.

You approach. You do the work. You get her number. You text her. You’re charming. She’s getting quality attention and validation from you, even as you keep your game tight. You schedule a date. You block out the time on you calendar which is time you could have used to date another girl instead.

And then….

She texts you right before that she can’t make it based on some lame excuse.

Or worse yet you show up to the date venue and she never does.

Is there anything more frustrating?

Not so great actually…

Last week for example I had 3 flakes out of 6 dates scheduled. And 2 of the 3 girls who didn’t flake were regulars.

Keep in mind I’m in my mid 40’s and these girls are in the 18-23 year old range, and in an American city where there are quite a bit more men than women. I’ve found flake rates go way down with women closer to you in age as well as in cities with a better ratio.

Yes women are random and some of the flaking is due to random shit that comes up. But there’s also a method to the randomness. Girls are filtering for their best option, both between men as well as social options.

Girl subconsciously filter men based on their internal character – is he good enough to get past my roadblocks? And girls “womb guard”. They know if you spend enough time with them alone there’s a chance you’ll put your DNA in her so subconsciously they need to feel you are worthy.

Women also are constantly considering you against the other men she has access to and frankly you need her to feel you’re her best option.

So what’s a man to do?

There will always be a degree of flaking in your dating life. It’s unavoidable. But in my experience the best approach is twofold:

  1. Be the best alternative you can be compared to all her other options
  2. Have an alternative as good as a date with her in the event she flakes

Let me break it down.

1. Being her best alternative is something you can influence, but can’t control.  You do this through standard game techniques:

  • Ping text a few hours after you get her number (her response here is one of the biggest indicators you’ll get of her interest).
  • Try to minimize time between when you get her number and when you schedule the date.   For every day between your odds of flaking go up.
  • Once your date is scheduled, continue to text her every 1-2 days to keep her interested.  Mix it up and keep it interesting.  Share “windows to your world” (mini DHV’s).  Mildly tease her and occasionally spike things up.  Avoid becoming her text buddy but give her enough to remember the real person you are.  This means combining attraction and comfort material.
  • If you meet her online, or if it will be a few days before you can actually meet, suggest a short phone or video chat.  Keep it short (less than 10 minutes), tease her but also throw in comfort.  This is essentially a mini first date.  Be sure to be the one to end the call first (you’re a man in demand).
  • Send a reminder text the day before or the day of the date.   Don’t ask “are we still on?”  That is weak.  Instead show confidence that she will be there with something like, “Hey miss trouble.  Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow at Bar X at 9.  Be sure to dress cute, so we match ;)”  (hat tip Krauser).
  • Schedule dates for times when girls have less alternative activities.  My favorite nights for first dates are Tuesday and Wednesday, followed by Monday.  Girls like to lay low Sunday night (high flake rate) and Thursday through Saturday night are often out with friends to bars or dating other guys they know better.  I tend to schedule dates for girls I haven’t yet fucked for Monday – Wednesday and for regulars Thursday through Saturday.
  • Keep in mind I mostly date women 18-23.  Older women may only be free Thursday – Saturday night due to responsibilities.  So know your target demographic and the times when they are most free.
  • There are times of the year when women flake more or are less interested in meeting new men.  Summer (especially August) is a horrible time to get girls out because of constant parties and travel.  Likewise the holidays are the worst time of year for meeting and gaming new girls.
  • Conversely, January through March and also September through October are my absolute favorite times to game.  Girls are back in school from holidays and travel, and are often looking to meet new guys as they shed their last relationship.  There’s an annual ebb and flow.
  • Some girls have random schedules, so flexibility helps.  If you can, be willing to do afternoon coffee dates or drinks at random times.
  • Double book.  If you’re on a trip and only have a few nights in town, or if your city is especially flaky for some reason, double book.  Worst case you end up having to be the one that flakes (happened to me on a NYC trip this year). 
  • You can stagger dates.  Fore example you can have a Friday date #1 afternoon coffee date, Friday date #2 drinks at 6pm, and a Friday date #3 drinks at 8:30pm.  If one or even two flake it’s no big deal.
  • I find younger women (18-23) are more flakey than older women.  In part because they’re young but also in part because the prospect of meeting an established older man makes them nervous, even if they’re highly attracted.  It’s out of their comfort zone.  To balance this out, consider doing a bit more texting and comfort with girls much younger than you.  I don’t recommend sexual escalation with younger girls until you’ve already done attraction and comfort with them in person on a date and are ready to isolate for the close.  
  • Don’t get too sexual before the first date, especially if you meet her online.  It’s often a thirst trap.  I find it’s far better to mix teasing and fun banter with comfort and DHV’s.  Save the sexting for girls you’re already fucking.
  • Don’t get too invested in any one girl.  Yes you will like some more than others.  But dating is a numbers game and you can control the process but not the outcome with any one girl (Dating is a pipeline just like the sales pipeline in business – since I started tracking in 2016 I’ve had dates with 35% of the girls I got a number from and I’ve had sex with 33% of the girls I’ve had a date with.)

I’d welcome your additional thoughts and tactics in the comments.

* Your results may vary…

Doing those things will help reduce the odds of flakes, but even at best you can only influence things. Flakes will happen.

But there’s a much larger element that you can directly control that will determine how frustrated you actually are when the inevitable flakes happen. Which brings me to:

2. Have an alternative as good as a date with her in the event she flakes

Have important goals in your life beyond girls. If the only thing you’ve got going on in your life besides a boring day job is banging girls on the side, of course you’re going to get upset when the girls fall through.

Instead, set meaningful goals and have outside interests beyond paying the bills and dating. This could be building up a side business, writing a book, DJ-ing at local clubs, or spending time with family and friends. Whatever your goals are, they have to be meaningful to you and inspire passion.

The point is to have a larger life than just girls. You want to be at a place in your life where if a girl flakes on a given night you can say to yourself, “cool, now I can keep working on project xyz instead”.

Personally I view women like good nutrition. If you’re bad with women you will not be happy, just like if you don’t eat well you will look like shit. But being good with women and having them in your life, although extremely rewarding, is not enough on its own to make you happy. Just like having good nutrition and a good physique is not enough by itself. You need a well rounded life to be happy.

Finally, it helps to have regular girls. The three flakes I experienced last week would have been much more painful if I didn’t have dates lined up with my two regulars where I knew I’d be getting plenty of sex. Yes it’s easier said than done, but here’s my post on how to best keep women in your life on an ongoing basis.

Calibration and Game

G’s Up Ho’s Down

One of the most commonly misunderstood areas of game is calibration. In particular, how do you adjust your game based on how the girl sees you at a given moment in time.

Understanding this is key to knowing which game tactics to use as part of your leadership of the seduction dance.

If you haven’t read Mystery Method yet by all means start there. Understanding the basic Attraction -> Comfort -> Seduction model is fundamental to game.

Most guys get the model. But with experience you also learn that in real life the process isn’t linear like the model. You don’t necessary go directly through each of the boxes Mystery lays out in the model one by one. Instead you fractionate between the various steps depending on where you are with the girl.

As Nash rightly points out you need to look at the guy/girl/context. The game you play will always depend on that context.

Mystery developed his method from doing night game in LA in the early 2000’s. That is just one context. A context where the girls have a high opinion of themselves from getting constantly approached. And being in LA the girls are also on the lookout for celebrities and other very high status men at the clubs, so they’re quick to filter and dismiss guys who don’t meet this standard.

Consequently classic mystery method assumes she considers her value higher than yours and so you in response you do things like:

  • Work the venue first to establish your value via social proof and pre-selection (she needs to see you’re a fun guy who women like being around and who men instinctively follow).
  • Open indirect (don’t show too much interest).
  • If needed neg her (remember – a neg is not an insult but rather a neutral comment that can be interpreted positively or negatively, and so the ambiguity makes her wonder about herself).

Do this successfully, and assuming you’re a reasonably attractive guy physically relative to the girl, you’ll have successfully build up her perceived value of you while perhaps knocking down her off her pedestal a bit.

Once you’ve done the work in the attraction phase then you proceed to ground the interaction by bouncing to another spot and building comfort, with the intent to extract later for seduction.

That method works. And they will work in most contexts because in the majority of cases women will perceive their value as higher than the value of most men.

G’z up Ho’s Down

But what if you’re a man who has game, and/or has built your value over time, and/or have a lot of social proof in the situation, and/or maybe you’re traveling to a country where for whatever reason you’re perceived as “shiny” compared to the majority of local men?

What if she sees you has higher value than her from the start?

In this case where a girl perceives your value is higher than hers and you come in with a neg she may take it poorly and feel that you’re insulting her. Spend too much building yourself up with DHV stories and she may see you as way out of her league.

This can often lead to her not wanting to get pump and dumped, or even being more bitchy to you because she thinks you’re only pretending to like her for an easy lay.

In these cases you take a softer approach with more comfort, as the attraction is already well established:

  • You show genuine interest in her and build connection.
  • You throw in the occasional tease or push to keep things flirty but these are more gentle.
  • Your main work is narrowing her perceived gap in your value so that you are still higher than her, but not so high she will get crushed. This means you show more of your K selected side.

Obviously the second case is much less common but it does happen.

I choose two extreme examples to illustrate the point. In reality this is an ongoing calibration you need to do in your interactions with women.

The point is there is an overall sweet spot. Women date up. You have to ensure she perceives your value as higher than hers, while at the same time if she perceives too big a gap she’ll likely withdraw to protect herself.

Be calibrated to where her perception is and you’ll know what elements of your game to bring to the situation.

If you have good game and a high intrinsic value (a goal for all of us) then you will find that after establishing the initial attraction you will spend more time in comfort (well named).

This goes true for ongoing relationships as well. Do behaviors that lower your value in her eyes and over time and she will lose attraction and stop seeing you. But if she sees your value getting higher than she’s comfortable with, you may find her creating drama, giving you comfort tests, or other type of attention seeking behavior to reassure yourself.

In the interest of completely nerding out, I’ve drafted a matrix to further illustrate. Enjoy:

Gaming Her ValueGaming Your Value
She sees herself as higher value – Neg
– Tease
– Disqualify her
– Social proof
– pre-selection
– DHV stories about how awesome you are
– Qualify her
She sees you as higher value– Compliment her (this is where a lot of guys find that “beta” game works when traveling to non-western countries)
– Future projection
– “Romantic” behaviors (this is the quadrant where a lot of girl advice on dating to men comes from, as women want to be dating men higher value than them)
– Provide comfort
– DHV with stories about how you support family

Again, you want to keep yourself in the “sweet spot” of her perceiving you as higher value than herself, but not not unattainably so.

The Secret to Happiness – In Life and in Game

Habits of a Happy Brain is one of my recommended books for game. And with good reason. Loretta Bruening breaks down the four brain chemicals that make you happy.

This matters because my goal is life is to maximize by long term happiness. And so building a life for myself that maximizes my happiness in line with how the brain actually works is key to a life of success.

The four brain chemicals that make you happy are:

  1. Dopamine – produces the joy of finding things that meet your needs. This is the reward your brain produces when you achieve a goal.
  2. Endorphin – produces oblivion that masks pain—often called euphoria. This is the reward your brain produces in response to exercise.
  3. Oxytocin – produces the feeling of being safe with others. This is the reward your brain produces with pair bonding.
  4. Serotonin – produces the feeling of being respected by others—pride. This is the reward your brain produces when receiving esteem from others.

That is all we get. Your brain only has these four happiness chemicals.

And your brain only releases these happy chemicals when you take steps towards meeting your needs.

But the challenge with this is that your brain is always looking for the next great way to meet your needs. Old rewards, even creamy, delicious ones, don’t command your brain’s attention. This is called habituation.

I definitely didn’t make these up…

So why should we care?

Given the above and how the brain is wired, if we want consistent long term happiness in life we have to constantly be striving towards new goals and making progress in relationships.

It also means we have to constantly mix things up. We habituate quickly to too much of any one stimulus. There is no end game.

Use this knowledge as you will. We all have to find our own way in life, but I can share how I’ve applied this key learning to my own:

  1. Dopamine – the reward for hitting goals
    • Have a big, challenging but achievable mission in life that will take years to achieve.
    • Have daily and yearly goals against this mission, to feel the dopamine hits from regular progress.
    • Always be gaming new women. Even if I find the perfect relationship in life I’ll still need the enjoyment of closing new women.
  2. Endorphins – the euphoric recovery to pain
    • Work out regularly. Challenge my body several times a week to feel this reward in the recovery.
  3. Oxytocin – the reward for pair bonding
    • For me this means having one or more regular girls in my life. Women I actually enjoying spending time with beyond just sex.
    • There is a known players curse that if you just do sport fucks eventually you fall hard and get oneitis for a girl because you’ve been missing out on oxytocin. Don’t fall in to this trap, always have multiple women in your life and at least one that you like enough to pair bond with to some degree.
    • Cultivate non-sexual relationships with your family, your pets etc where you get pair-bonding beyond the women in your life. Like a portfolio the key is diversification and getting this from multiple sources and not just one.
  4. Serotonin – earned reward from respect
    • I’ve found this best comes as you earn respect from your peer group. Whether that’s being acknowledged as someone to go to for help and advice, or even by keeping a small blog like this one. Interacting with peers and receiving their genuine respect is the best way I know to earn this one.

The key thing to remember is that these happiness chemicals work just like exercise. You have to find multiple daily sources of all of these things, mixed up on a regular basis. One time events don’t cut it any more than doing one workout makes you fit for life. It has to be a habit.

In addition, you need to be getting your happiness from all four sources and not just one. That is why players who just focus on dopamine fueled rewards just from fucking new girls don’t find happiness and eventually burn out. Like a balanced diet you need multiple sources.

You can use this same happiness model with the women in your life that you want to retain. If you can regularly stimulate all of these happiness chemicals in a girl she will want to be in your life, and this is the secret to retention:

  1. Dopamine
    • Mix up your dates. Avoid doing the same activity twice, avoid taking her to the same place twice. Keep things fresh.
    • Future projection – (truthfully) give her detailed scenarios to image of the two of you in the future (for example a trip or future activity) and then over time fulfill the scenario. Give her that gift of anticipation.
    • Mix up the type of sex you give her. This can even be in the same session. Sometimes rough, sometimes emotional, sometimes in bed, sometimes in a public toilet. Always keep it fresh.
    • Give her the gift of missing you. Don’t text much when you’re not with her and only see her once a week or less.
  2. Endorphins
    • The rewards from endorphins explain why women enjoy rough sex and BDSM. I’ve yet to meet a girl who doesn’t love being fucked rough from time to time, if not every time. Be dominant and fuck her good.
  3. Oxytocin
    • If you want a girl to stick around for more than the occasional sport fuck, mix in cuddling and intimacy. This works best during the 20 minutes after sex. If you want her as a regular don’t just jump up after sex, cuddle and talk with her a bit afterwards. It’s a huge hit of oxytocin. If rough sex is the “push” cuddling afterwards is the “pull”.
  4. Seratonin
    • From time to time acknowledge her uniqueness or something she does that wins your approval. This has to be random to have the best effect. Don’t overdo it – think of Heartiste’s old rule of the golden ratio – giving her 2/3’s of everything she gives you.

There is a negative counterpoint to this as well. Just as doing the above stimulates your happiness chemicals, not doing the above will make you unhappy.

So withdrawing attention and not doing the above for a woman will make her feel the loss of you, and crave having you back.

This is the “Push” in the push/pull dance that is game. It is necessary to avoid habituation. And as the man you need to lead this experience for her. It’s what she craves because it’s how her brain is wired.

And more importantly this means in life if you’re not working towards goals and making progress, not exercising regularly, not pair-bonding with key relationships, not gaming new girls, and not earning the esteem of your peers…..you will be unhappy.

We are wired to be rewarded for being high value.

Book Review: Girl Junkie

I’ve been following Krauser’s blog since 2009 or so, after Roissy first linked to it many years ago.  I’m sure most of my readers know and respect him.  He’s not only one of the best writers in game, but he also helped formalize the London daygame model which is the framework many of us use. 

I’ve learned a lot by reading Krauser over the years, and I’ve enjoyed reading all four of his memoir volumes.  Krauser highlighting up and coming daygame bloggers is also the reason I was able to connect with Nash at Days of Game, and I’m grateful for that as well.

So naturally I was looking forward to reading the 5th installment of his series, “Girl Junkie” which covers his exploits in 2015. 

Worth a read…

Having followed his blog all these years Krauser’s memoirs have been especially interesting because the give background and context to many of the stories he’s posted there. 

Each volume has delivered on its promise:  well told interesting stories that both entertain as well as deliver game tidbits and perspective by example. 

With each volume I find myself underling certain ideas and passages to bring into my own game toolkit.  

Girl Junkie continues with this streak and doesn’t disappoint. 

Having read the other four volumes over the last four years or so, it’s difficult to remember the differences between the books.  They’re all consistent Krauser.  With Girl Junkie what stands out to me as a long time Krauser reader is he has matured. 

There is less preening.  Even though Girl Junkie covers the most recent year of the five volumes, where Krauser’s game had continued to improve, in many ways he’s more humble in this book and from my read it seems to have a greater balances of both the frustrations and successes.  We all learn more from our failures and this makes for a more human and interesting read.

Krauser also raises some interesting questions on the players journey and whether it’s possible to go too far.  In the year of game he covers in this book he is all about fast escalation and the fast pull, often just for the sake of the dopamine rush it provides.  He knowingly burns a lot of leads he might have closed otherwise because he can’t be bothered to take more time on.  Most guys never get to this point, but it is a pitfall for long term players. 

He hints in the end at further changes, and I look forward to seeing if he explores this further.

Some of my favorite quotes of the book include:

  • “So long as you aren’t naive enough to invest emotions into your dealing with them, sluts are a lot of fun.  They can be amongst the most honest and direct girls you ever meet; so long as you’re the casual sex guy and not a potential husband.”
  • Specific examples of how he visualizes sexual scenes with girls on the street to increase his sexual intent as he goes to approach, improving results.
  • “Once you understand the concept of ‘frame’, you understand its power.  If you can direct your mind with the correct metaphors, that imagery will fill in all the blanks for you and power you through self-doubt.”
  • “We aren’t stealing anything (from the girl).  It’s the opposite, we are building up something special and offering girls an opportunity.”
  • Details of what caused the fall out between Krauser and Torero, from Krauser’s perspective.
  • Plenty of good examples of lines and tactics with girls.
  • Plenty of logistical details for Krakow, Warsaw, Prague, and Kiev for anyone who ever plans to game those cities.
  • “I believe a man shouldn’t burden others with his problems.  Part of being a man is carrying weight on your own shoulders.  It can be a tightrope with girls, to share enough of your inner world that they feel connection but to close off those insecurities and frustrations that would undermine her assessment of your confidence.”
  • “Her first response (or lack thereof) is the strongest single signal of how likely she is to fuck.” (referring to her first text response after the street number close).
  • “Something funny just occurred to me,” I said mid-way through a script that had actually occurred to me two years ago and had been carefully refined through practice ever since.  “isn’t it interesting that nobody even knows we met?  It’s like, everything we say and do is one big secret.”
  • “being a girl, she was fascinated by the sudden conviction with which I delivered the lecture.  I saw her eyes sparkle in sexual attraction.”
  • “Any time a girl chases you let her come.  Don’t snatch the reins and start leading.”

As the entertainment industry has become increasingly politically correct, I find there are less and less movies and books that I can actually enjoy.  They just don’t match reality. 

For a man that understands how the world works Krauser’s memoirs are a refreshing exception.  I enjoy the writing as entertainment, and there are plenty of golden nuggets of game that I took notes on as well to refine what I do.

Highly recommended.