As is my custom for trips I pipelined several dates via online for my NYC trip. This lets me hit the ground running with a solid pipeline and ensures I don’t get thirsty from a dry spell. I start to feel it after a few days of not getting laid.
Long lay reports are boring for me to write as most dates follow my first date model (unless I sense it’s on and then I escalate and bounce her home on date 1), and I prefer to look at the big picture trends, so below I’m summarizing my entire 2.5 weeks in NYC.
As with every other trip I do outside of SF, dating felt on easy mode. I could feel the difference in marketplaces and had to calibrate my approach a bit. There were less flakes and all my lays were on the first date, not the second. I got way more IOI’s as well.
Like anywhere else, a man in Manhattan definitely needs to both have value and have game, but there are many more opportunities and it simply just doesn’t take as much persistence or work.
Here’s how things went for me:
- Girl 1 – 23 year old student originally from Oklahoma. My first night in New York and it was a brutal 4 degrees F outside (-16 C). I had her holding my hands most of the date to help warm me up which was good kino. Ran my standard first date model at a local bar, and felt it was on so I bounced her to a 2nd bar nearby, which became my favorite venue after this date. I spent a bit too much time with her in bar 2 and we lost some momentum, and by the end I opted not to bounce her home. Not sure why I passed up a likely lay, but I wasn’t in the mood. I wasn’t dressed well for the cold.
- Girl 2 – 28 year old Costa Rican who admitted that she is dying to meet a man with whom she could be submissive with. Somehow submissive girls always recognize me for the dominant I am. Good conversation on a 1 hour first date. I opted to do the two date model with her based on calibration and her age, but ended up cancelling with her during my date with Girl 4 below.
- Had my one of my regular SF girls “Little Me” come in for a 36 hour visit. I wanted to set the precedent for short trips as we’ll likely be in different cities in the near future. We fucked all weekend and hit some great restaurants as well as the museum of sex. One downside I found with NYC is the public restrooms don’t lend themselves as well to pulling your girl in for a quickie, which is a favorite pastime I got Little Me hooked on. Sigh…there is no pussy paradise.
- Girl 3 – 23 year old student. Saw her the Sunday evening the day Little Me left for home. Girl 3 flaked on me twice during my first week during the period of extreme cold (as did several others), but she begged me for a third chance. I had nothing else booked so I gave it to her. We met at a local bar and this was one of the strongest “it’s on” moments I’ve ever had. Sometimes you’re just a girl’s type. She was 5’9″ and tall girls always love my 6’3 frame so maybe that helped. I had to slow the date down to get to about a 45 minute mark before I bounced her to my apartment since I didn’t want to deal with ASD at my place. She asked to take a shower after we got to my place, and then we fucked right away when she came out in a towel. No ASD, and I opted not to see her again.
- Girl 4 – 22 year old restaurant hostess. Grew up on the lower east side. Was planning on running my standard two date model as I had a date 2 planned later that evening to close Girl 2. But once again things felt “on” from the beginning. It started slow but the click was definitely there, so with the attraction there I opted to bounce her to another bar to build comfort, and I canceled my date 2 with girl 2 (younger and hotter always wins). Lots of good kino and we’d have several random moments of intense eye contact, her with her lips open. Again the bounce to my place was easy and no ASD. Ironically I ended up flaking on her on a Friday night date 3 days later when things went well with girl 6 below. But other than her calling me “naughty” she happily came out for another date with me on my last night in New York. She also sent me the text I copied into this post the morning I left. This girl fucked like a pornstar and wanted to do things for me to earn her favorite reward, me calling her a “good girl”. Increasingly I’ve been deeply saying “good girl” as a reward when girls do something that pleases me. I did this in the texting with miss Kuala Lumpur which I believe helped me get the lay, and Miss Singapore even asked out loud once “why does that hit my pleasure center so much?!”. I really do love girls and how they are.
- Girl 5- 25 year old freelancer from Connecticut. She was just my type physically, and had a sweetness to her that I liked. My read on her was that she was more “K” selected (close to her family, shares apartment with her sister, no tatoos, etc), so I opted for a 2 date model and cut the first date short after an hour. We were both free the next date so I opted to do a dinner date at a restaurant. In the end she wouldn’t bounce to my place for “one last drink” so I wrote her off. I was disappointed to waste an evening on her, but I’d have taken the night off otherwise anyway.
- Girl 6 – just turned 18 year old art student from Brooklyn. A petite 5’1″ girl with a nice round booty, this girl was by far my favorite of the trip. We had a Friday afternoon coffee date since she was so far underage. We had clicked well in texting, this girl has one of the best senses of humor of any one I’ve met. Our banter was great but there was a strong man/woman vibe. After an hour at the cafe I was going to end the date and head out for an evening planned with girl 4, but girl 6 asked me, “what are we doing next?” so I rolled with it and bounced her to what was now my favorite bar in the east village, one block from my place. The staff knew me well by this time so didn’t bother to card, and we continued our vibe over a nice drink (I had a virgin drink, and the art student indulged in a nice cocktail). After another hour with some good kino and escalation I suggested she try the nice Bordeaux I had at my place and she agreed. I cancelled my date with Girl 4 right before we planned to begin so I could keep momentum with Girl 6 (younger and hotter always wins). Being younger I could see that Girl 6 she was a bit nervous knowing what that meant. I gave her more time to roam around my apartment that I normally do, although I teased her comparing her to a nervous little kitten. It was rather fun watching her settle the nerves and make her inner decision of whether or not to fuck me, I watched with a bit of a grin from the couch confident in the inevitable as I let her settle in. She then sat across from me on the coffee table rather than next to me on the couch, a clear sign that she needed to build comfort. One of the advantages to being older is that I’m never in a hurry and I just relaxed and let her do what she needed, I think she felt this and it relaxed her. It’s no big deal to me if I don’t get laid on any given night because I always have a rotation, and girls can feel this. The art student started asking me questions like, “do you live here or in SF?”, “do you only date young girls?” etc and of course I answered them all truthfully but tactfully. It’s funny but girls rarely ask me questions on dates, instead I lead the conversation but asking questions and letting them talk about themselves. The questions here was much like the text questions I was getting from girls in Bangkok prior to first dates, I smiled at the parallel. When it finally felt right I pulled her across from the table into my lap as I sit on the couch and started kissing her. Within about 30 seconds she panted “do you want to fuck me?” and I answered by simply picking her up and carrying her to the bed all the while I was kissing her. We fucked twice that night and twice the next day. Lots of vibing and fun conversation in between and not to much sleep. We did it again two days later for a 2nd date. She’s one I’ll keep in touch with for my return to NY. She reminds me of the Stanford girl in dated in 2017, but this one was sweeter.
- Girl 7 – 20 year old sorority girl from Rutgers. We had good banter via texting and had also done a short skype call (which I cut short as always). Date started well but it became apparent this girl was a bit insecure and liked to banter / accuse a bit too much. When I moved things on to comfort she would keep moving things back to the banter phase, but in a way that didn’t feel sexual. I ended the date after an hour and wrote her off.
I didn’t keep track but my memory is that I had three girls flake on me, all in the first week of extreme cold. I flaked on two girls an hour before the date (girls 2 & 4 above), and I cancelled on maybe 3 or 4 others at various points when I was too tired to pursue. This came from me having to calibrate to the NYC market, I’m used to girls flaking more in other cities so I was double booking evenings. I also didn’t expect every lay to be a date 1 lay but girls in NYC don’t seem to hesitate once they know they want you.
All of the above was from online, which is as good in NYC as anywhere I’ve been. I did do a handful of daygame sets with Runner. I number closed a cute blonde in SoHo but the number flaked (I approached off her huge IOI but then she was in a hurry after I stacked and so the interaction was way too short). Did a second daygame session at the end of my trip with Runner in Penn station at night due to the cold, but the options were slim and frankly I was all fucked out from the girls above.
Red Quest wrote a good post that in game you only see the “Tip of the Spear” This is true. My view of a man’s success in game is much like that of success in business…you need to work on all three:
- Your value. In game you are the product. The more you build your value (confidence, charm, charisma, physique, fashion, influence and social connections, sexual abilities, etc) the more women will want you. If you’re not attractive the best game in the world will do you no good
- Your actual game. This is sales of you as the product. If you have high value but don’t approach women you won’t get laid. They need to learn about you in an attractive way, and then you need to lead them from interest to close. You need a systemic way of doing this (nightgame, daygame, online, social circle) and manage this whole sales funnel like a process. To Red Quest’s point this is the part most men focus on. In part I think a lot of lazy guys are looking for “game hacks” so they can avoid the hard work of building value which takes years.
- Your dating market. Are there a lot of attractive younger women relative to men where you live? I see now that I’ve made things much harder for myself by living most of my life in the worst counties in the country for men to date. It likely contributed to me getting married as young as I did. But on the plus side I doubt I’d have developed my game skills as much as I have if SF wasn’t such a tough market for men.
I feel I’ve maximized my value as much as I can. At 44 my fight is to preserve what I’ve built. I’ve got room to improve my game but I’d say I’m solid at this point.
Personally my biggest opportunity is to improve my market. I look forward to my move to NYC.